Spades' Study of Starkits Prophecy
by Midnight Crew
Summary: Veering off from the usual team, Spades is here to entertain. Reviewing the story Starkit's Prophesy. Warning: SP's author is a horrible speller.
1. It's Alliances not Alligences

**He**y** guys, this is my commentary of a rather semi-famous bad-fic that even has a sequel; Starkits Prophecy by xdarkrosesx. I'll be doing this on my own. No M.C, sorry. **

**I'm also only going to continue updating this is people actually like it. So, yeah.**

**I apologize in advance for the horrible spelling of the story. This author cant spell. At all.**

ALLIANCES  
ok so like i said this iks my first story be nice plz

btw its set afte rsunset so

ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom

**So, this is after Sunrise, not Sunset.**

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Foxpaw

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-ca

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**When did she become an apprentice?**

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

Hollyleaf - black she-cat

FoxHeart-reddish tabby tom

IceFire-white she cat

ToadRibbit-black—and-white tom

**His name was Toadstep.**

RoseFlame-dark cream she cat

**Rosepetal.**

BriarStorm-dark brown she cat

**Briarlight.**

BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stipes

**Bumblestripe**

BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwth a dark stripe along her spine

**Blossomfall**

Apprentices:

Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Who? Fox-Daisypaw?**

FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one grnee eye one blue eye

LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes

The last 2 r starKits siters

JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail

**Ugh.**

Queens:

Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits

**Ferncloud is always pregnant**

Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's mother of Jayfeathers'

***Flips Table***

ktis, formaly of Shadowclan

**I'm out of here.**

Kits:

StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forhaed

**What is Molting? Major Revolting? Lets go with that.**

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0

LeafPool-brown tabby she cat

**When did she retire?**

**I am just going to skip the rest of the allegiances. **

ShadowClan

Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws

Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom

Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)

Warriors:

Oakfur - small brown tom

Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Rowanclaw - ginger tom

Smokefoot - black tom

Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat

Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)

Toadfoot - dark brown tom

Crowfrost - black-and-white tom

Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)

Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles

Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back

Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)

Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail

Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)

Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye

Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)

Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's

Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eys

DawnFeather-cream tabby she cat (shes a different cant then the one in tC ok?)

OlivePaw-bright brown she cat

Queens:

Snowbird - pure white she-cat

Elders:

Cedarheart - dark gray tom

Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat

WindClan

Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom

Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom

Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)

Warriors:

Tornear - tabby tom

Crowfeather - dark gray tom

Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom

Whitetail - small white she-cat

Nightcloud - black she-cat

Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes

Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws

Harespring - brown-and-white tom

Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes

Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)

Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat

Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)

Willowclaw - gray she-cat

Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear

Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws

Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)

Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes

Elders:

Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen

Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom

RiverClan

Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat

Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat

Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)

Warriors:

Blackclaw - smoky-black tom

Voletooth - small brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Reedwhisker - black tom

Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes

Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)

Beechfur - light brown tom

Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Graymist - pale gray tabby

Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat

Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat

Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom

Mintfur - light gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Otterheart - dark brown she-cat

Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)

Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)

Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom

Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat)

Queens:

Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit

Elders:

Heavystep - thickset tabby tom

Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat

Stonestream - gray tom


	2. Nameless White cats and random Gold Cats

**I'm posting a whole lot of chapters at once to get this going. Are you ready for more bad and short chapters? I know I'm not *Puts on military hard hat* but here we go.**

Chpater oen prouloge

**All three are misspelt. Yay.**

**I count at least 11 misspelt words in the first chapter.**

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright.

**Who's the cat? I'm sure there's a lot of blue she-cats.**

"There is a prophecy!" She said. "out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

**And who might tiger and holly be. If readers don't get this, then I'm disappointed.**

"Its about StarKit!" A white tom said.

**Who's obviously not important enough for a name. RIP Whitestorm. You were awesome.**

"Shes going to save the forest," He looked at a gold tom by BlueStar.

**Which Gold tom? Lionheart? Lionblaze? Lionstar? Half a dozen gold toms in Starclan?**

"she has powers nobody dreamed of." Said the gold tom.

**Namelessgold said.**

"Should we tell JayFeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said BlueStar. "he needs to know."

**So he can kill her.**

She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.

did u like it? plz tell me in urm review

**Did you like this? Leave a review**!


	3. The Rise of Heroin Addiction

Chapter to the rose of a Heroin

**Addiction.**

_ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You'l apear soon dont worry._

**Readers, prepare to worry.**

StarKit wock up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes againstill tired. Butter mom

**Her mom is made of butter. Head cannon: Accepted.**

wouldn't let her sleep not today.

"Sweety its time to get up" said Dawnsparkle; her eys shinning. "Today is important today."

**Got it, Mr. Department of Redundancy Department. **

"What is it Mom" said StarKit awake right away. Then the she cat rememembered what today was.

"Ohmigosh its my serimony today!' she squelled excercisedly. Today was the day she was an apprentice!

She flicked outside

**How can someone flick outside?**

not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom cot up to her quick.

"Sweety you know the clans don't except cat slike use sometimes." She said.

StarKit glared. She didn't lake beig told that. Just because her Mom was a usedto be Shadowclan cat and her dad was jayFeather the medicine Cat didn"t mean she ws different!

**Sure it doesn't. Now why don't you take this bag of catnip and play in the corner *Whispers to readers* It does mean she's different.**

"StarPaw come here." Said FireStar from the leg.

**Leg = Log. Leg= Ledge. You decide.**

He jumped down.

"StarKit it s tome for you to become an apentice: he said. "Your a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you."

**Yawn.**

Ever body gasped. StarKit did too. Se herd hear mother say "Wow!".

Firehert

**Fireheart? What happened to Firestar? Shit! Did Starkit overthrow you already?!**

liked her shoulder. He whispered in her ear "youll be the best their ever was StarPaw I know ti."

Surpised she walked away when they were done howling for her./ Then she went ofer to JayFeathern and DawnSparkle who were very prod.

**I wouldn't be proud.**

"Daughetr where very happy but he have to say something said Jayfeather his chest puffed ouit. "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

**Obvious prophesy is obvious.**

StarPaw gasped. What does it mean?

**It means exactly what it says.**

_lol I update fast dont i. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk_

**You have been warned. It only gets worse from here.**


	4. One Cat Equals a Clan

**Thank you for the reviews and favorites.**

Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln

_thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review!_

**Is she using the wrong honnorfic?**

_ and stop flmaing the stroy!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1_

**Wanna bet?**

StarPaw walkd over too the appentice's den. Insid she saw her sister's FlamePaw and lakePaw

**Who were made apprentices before her why?**

and hr frend JazzPaw (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) waz slepping on the mos

**Do I sense a crush here?**

"JazzPaw get up." She cried. JazzPaw opend her brlliaint blu eyes and looked at hr.

**Jazzpaw: Get lost, freak.**

"Do yo want 2 go on pattrol wit me?" she asked.

"Sure!" Said JazzPaw getten up from the moss.

**For some reason when I see Jazzpaw, I think; Jazz Dancer. Damn you History class. :I**

They leavt and went two the entrnse too camp.

But then, a cat came in thru the entrnce! It was BlackStar!1!11

**BlackStar! You're supposed to be in Soul Eater not Warriors! ...wait, Blackstar is also Shadowclan leader.**

"Shadowclan are attaking!" She yelled.

**Wow Starpaw, one cat does not equal an entire clan attacking.**

All the cats came out from there dens. She jumped on a cat and clawd him and he ran of.

**Wow, Starpaw was able to beat a clan leader and send him running with one move despite not having any prior training. She is _sooo_ special.**

"Good job StarPaw!" FireStar called, "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter!"

**Is Sandstorm dead or something? If she is, then I demand vengeance!**

StarPaw was happy. She wus a good fihgter! Maybey this was wat the prophcy meant.

**If only, if only.**

_thnkx and ples no more flams_

**Pyro's! Get your flamethrowers!**


	5. All Leaders Go To Starclan

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star

**Isn't this Chapter Four?**

_OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days _

**Is Rainy Days a user?**

_FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. _

**No one cares. Grow a pair and deal with it. It's just a story.**

_OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know._

**Where's the fun in that?**

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars

**Didn't you already say this?**

Shadowclan run from the camp. StarPaw smiled. Shed one! Noone cod hurt her family now .

***Gets gun* Wanna bet? You're pretty arrogant, but I think it's Mary Sue season.**

StarPaw!" said FireStar. "Its time we train!" I want to show you how to fight!"

**You're going to train_ right _after a battle?**

"Ok." Sad StarPaw happl;y. "but yo just saw I culd fight, write?" "Well, ya." said FireStar. "But I wnted tol see if that was all you new."

**It is.**

"Ok." They went to the frost togather and the other cats cleaned jp the bodies.

**Which they should be helping with. I don't see Thunderclan really just killing their attackers.**

"Ok StarPaw" said Firestar one they got their. "We'll start with how to dog."

**Play dead, okay, Starpaw.**

"Cmon thas too easy!" yelled StarPaw. Shed just beat BlackStar she was ready for anything!

***Loads gun* Really?**

"ok Ok" mewled FiresTar,

**What is he? A kit?**

lets learn how to claw an oponit.

**Because knowing how to dodge isn't that important.**

"Ya." Yowled Starkit. She jumped at FireStar not Giving hiM time to attakc. "She hit his side he didn't move he was to surprise.d she clawed him and he started bledding.

**Aren't you supposed to train with your claws **_**sheathed?**_

"wow StarPaw" he said ".Your doing awesome." "Really?" gaped StarPaw. She didn't think she was doing that god was she relly special like the porphesy meowed?

**Oh God *Facepalm***

"Yes StarPaw." Snarled Firestar.

**Whoa there, Firestar, no need to get angry.**

**...**

**Well, yeah, get mad. Banish her!**

"I couldnteven get away in fast enough. Only scourg was did that before.,"

**Scourge! He was boss.**

"OMGOSH REALLY?" asked StarPaw. Scourg?1? THE SCOURG? She dherad so muchj about him he was really evil and killed alot of cats.

**He's also Firestar's half-brother! Oops, spoilers. Not really. you need detective work for that.**

"I'M LIKE SCOURG? "I didnt mean it like that" FirePaw sad fastly.

**Age-bending.**

"I ment you wer a good fighter. Its really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaws so kawaii look at her eys and her fur.

**Firestar. You have a mate. You have kits. Your kits have kits. Starpaw is your grandsons _daughter_.**

"Oh ok thanks." They trained floor awhile later StarPaw beat FireStar 8 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired.

**Only a little.**

"Hey FireStar can we hunt now." Said StarPaw. "im kinda hungry."

"Oh we'll if you want." Firestar was disappointed he and; starPaw had been having so much fun.

**At least someone's having fun.**

So they went huntng, StarPaw messed up a couple times

**Yes! She has flaws! Finally! wait...no.**

but FireStar said it was okaysince it was only her second time (she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and FireStar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_.

**Why would he do this? Why?**

Later that night StarPaw locked up at the stars. She and Firestar had'd so much fun this day. Theyd brung back enough food for the hole clan.

**I doubt that.**

Locking upn at the stars she turned to her best friend, JazzPaw, and said, "Do you think well ever be up there."

**Nope. Sorry Starpaw, but you belong in the DarkForest.**

"Ya totally." Said JazzPaww. "I mean youll be l,eader and I'll be depudy one day well have too!"

**What does that have to do with it? Tigerstar was a leader, he's not in Starclan.**

"Ya." Said StarPaw smiling she loved JazzPaw NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!)

**You're the one who said she loved Jazzpaw, not us.**

they were best friends. She loked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep wit the Starcaln voices whisper in her head.

**Sorry, that's not Starclan you hear. Just generic voices in your head that signify you are in-fucking-sane.**

_REVIEW R MY LIFE_

**Review never!**

_(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could(_

**I didn't think Jazzpaw seemed that cute. She seemed sane though, that's good.**


	6. Love Triangle Time

Chapter For StarPaws decids

**Ominous name.**

flamrs ur all satanits!

**Aw, I just love it when Trolls get mad at me and call me a Satanist just because I don't like their story. Just shows how ridiculous they are.**

11 anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln

**Starclan is not Heaven. Starclan doesn't have a single God, I don't think they even have a God.**

and thats why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS!

**I believe in Jesus, not Jezus. Who's he? the rocker version?**

"StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole."

**No! Don't let her go on parole! I don't care what she did! Give her the life sentence!**

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys and locked arund.

**Rainbow? What happened to her molting/revolting orange eyes? Though Rainbow eyes are even grosser. **

"Omigosh who wus tha!1!1"Sshe yellow.

**She yellow! The yowl version of bellow. **

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.

**I would be creeped out if someone just whispered in my ear when I'm trying to sleep.**

"Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Wll u be my mat" hE ESked.

**Graystripe! What about Millie? What about Silverstream?! You _have_ a mate!**

"OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked me."

**...what? When did that happen? and EW! Firestar is her Great-grandfather! AND has a mate! Just ew!**

"wel then hes jst an idot."

**Yeah, calling your best friend and clan leader an idiot is smart.**

"StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole."

**Didn't we already go through this?**

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys and locked arund.

"Omigosh who wus tha!1!1"Sshe yellow.

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.

"Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Wll u be my mat" hE ESked.

"OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked me."

"wel then hes jst an idot."

**Still isn't smart move.**

y do u say tha?" yellED STARPaw GayStrip locked at hr meanly. "i dont lik him" sqeakd GrayStripe

**Squeaked? And Graystripe! He's your best friend!**

he locked arund fastly. "hes a mean cat!

**Since when?**

"OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED.

**...they _are_ brothers.**

"No ur much prtter then sourg" said Graystripe

**Okay? What does that have to do with it?**

he licked her on the head I want u to be my mat." he yeleled.

**Why are you yelling this?**

"Well mabey. but what would FireStar say?" she wispereed.

**Firestar: What about Millie? You have a mate Graystripe. You do not have permission to be with my Great-Grandaughter.**

GrayStripe locked around agan. "I dont think he wuld mind." said GraStri;e

**Sure.**

"OMIGOSH SUR THAN!" StarPaww yelleded happly.

**So much for keeping this a secret. Probably woke up the whole clan.**

"Wat ar uo ta;kin abut" said FireHert he was walkin up. He locked angrily.

**If you spell 'look' as 'lock' one more time...**

"oh uhhhh nuthin FireStar go back to sleep!" mwled StarPaw hoppin he would leaf so she culd be alon with grayStripe.

**Your an apprentice. Slow down.**

"Yah FireStra theres nithing to wory about!

**"I'm just stealing your girl!"**

" cherrid GrayStrpe but Firestar didn't leave insted he said i thought I herd you asking her to be our mate."

**Oh, are they sharing? That's responsible. **

"oh uh yeh. yELLED STARPaw

**Oh God! Quit yelling!**

but he didn;t leaf instead he jumped on GrayStripe!1!11

**My money is on the leader.**

"I Want to be wit her!" said FireHart

**Star! Firestar!**

attakin GraySriep.

"No I do!" shouted.

**Who shouted?**

"guysys stop fihting you can BOTH be my mats! StarPaw wispered apply like seCert."

_**Now **_**you whiper!**

"No we can;t do that their can only be 1!11 Howled Firestar.

**There can only be one winner!**

"Otterwies youll chet on us."

**Wouldn't it have to be secret?**

"So StarGleam, who will u pik?" giggled GayStipe.

***falls of chair laughing* Gaystripe.**


	7. I'm A Saint

**Man these Starkit chapters are so short, I could probably get all 33 chapters done in just a few days!**

**Okay, so MC and I also have reviewed a new chapter for our other two stories, chapters are posted. Check them out.**

Chapter Five Untidles  
UR OLL JUST SAINTS

**I'm a saint? Thank you!**

y cant u just except jEsuss it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again

**We'd still have to worry about things. And for someone who claims to be so religious bordering a religious nutjob, you should be able to spell our Saviors name right. **

**Or at least know how to use Spellcheck.**

StarPaw sad "I..i….." she was so foncusded!

**Whats Foncusded?**

Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates an wht was she supops to do?

**Choose neither. Firestar is kin and Graystripe is old enough to be your great grandpa.**

They we beoth handsome and althing, but bot had matss!

**Thank you for reminding everyone that Sandstorm and Millie are alive. Someone tell them, they will be pissed off. NEVER scorn a woman! Never steal a womans man either.**

Nhd she luvved them both! FirstAr wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot.

**He's your FAMILY.**

GayStirpe was so funny and col.

"!" said StarPaw ass

**Haha. Some of these bad spellings are funny.**

she ruan in to the forest. It wus to muck# she culdnt choss!

**Choose neither.**

She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged. Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader. Oih no she thugh Shadowclan will get me.

**Shadowclan! Be the hero! Kill her!**

"wut are you ding here?" sd BalkStar s he waked up.

**Balkstar? No wonder he got beat so easily!**

"I'm sorry!" mewoed StarKit I didn't men too!'

That's ok" sed blackStar. "no wons perfeck."

**Accept for Starpaw apparently.**

"no that's not true." Said StarPaw, offed. "StarClan is.""Waht do you mena?" wemed BlackStar.

**Are you really asking her that, Blackstar?**

"well the give us all this halpand stuff"

**Starclan helps means their perfect. I help out people a lot. I'm constantly helping MC. That must mean I'm better then Starclan. I like this logic.**

said Starpaw. "without them we wold be lust." She said.

**Even with Starclan you guys are lust filled.**

"I gess that's ter " balkcStar said, "besid I didn't relly mean that neway.

"o really why?" said starpaw. "becus yo are."

**Oh God. No! We already have a Love Triangle! Don't turn it into a Love Square!**

'WHAT' YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her. "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?"

**Put those moles away!**

"e—" BlakStar started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick

"no" she Sid "I don't doned another tom after me!" "I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy!

**I got ninety-nine problems, but a Mary Sue aint one.**

"but yor pahfect." Said Blackstar. "you betted me in badle you HAVE TO BE "

**Blackstar, you've been beaten in battle lots of times. Mostly by warriors.**

"NO!" shitted SarPaw

**Oh God! Hahahaha!**

Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"

**Starclan: Help yourself! Its Poker Night!**


	8. JayStick is Cannon

Chapter Six Desions,  
_STUP GLAMING!11_

**I think I'll continue the glamour. **

_! IF YOU'R AN FLAM,E YOUR A STNITS AND WIL BUN IN HEIKL!_

**Heikl is better than Hell. **

LASTEST TIEM ON STARKITS PROPEHY:;

"NO!" shitted SarPaw Again

**I'm dying!**

runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"

**Starclan: STFU! It's Poker night!**

Afert tat StrPaw walkde thru the frost. She wus so depresedded! Hu was seh sapost to pik?/?/

**Last time: NEITHER.**

Then she saw JayFethre cumin

**Hehe.**

thru the forst tords her.

"JayFeathr im soooo confusedd wat do i do she yelled their are three toms atref me!

**One of the best topics to talk to your dad about.**

TREEE!"!

**Jayfeather: Yes daughter, that is a tree.**

i know" sed jayFethr he locked happy. "thats good four you it menzz that p[eo[le like uo. he told he smilling.

**Tell that to Sandstorm, Millie, Silverstream, Spottedleaf, Cinderpelt, and possible Russetfur.**

"NO NUT I LUV ALL OF THEM" sed StarPaw back waling upst. "I DON'T KNO WHO TO [ICK!1!1"

**You all should have this conversation with your fathers. Its great! *Sarcasm***

"wel ten let me tel yo a stor.y said JayFeathern and he sat don. Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that I licked."

"hu where they sad StarPaw snifing.

"theyre names were DawnSpark;e and... Stick/ saud JayFeather.

**JayfeatherXStick is basically already cannon in the fandom so *Shrugs***

"OMG STICK wispred StarPaw "YOU WHERE IN LUV WITH A STICK? She culdnt belief it. After al this tim she finds out that her fathe loved a sTICK. SHE GAPD IN SHOC.

**People already ship that pair more then JayfeatherXDawnsparkle.**

"Wat did you do? she esked thoug cuase she was crios.

Wel I culdn have kids with a stcik now culd i?" said JayPaw

**You aren't supposed to have kits at all. You are a Medicine Cat you idiot!**

and he locked confuded. LIKE HE DIDN;T EVN KNO SHE WAS GNNA ASK THt qestn.

"sO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTD! YELLED STARpaw locking vry happi. "but that doesn;t help me what am I spost to do?/?

**Not to listen to a cat that had mates when he wasn't supposed to and broke Stick's heart.**

"Folo youre hart said Jayfeahr. "Who do yo want to be wit/"

Hmm StarPaw taught for a secund. FireStar!" she yelldd and then run of to tel him that she ;oved him

**Jayfeather must be so happy his daughter is going to become mates with his grandpa.**

NO FLAMSE!1!12!1

**Burn the story! Burn it!**


	9. Three Days of Apprenticehood

Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1  
_STOP REVOFIGN BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving_

**Jazzpaw, don't encourage her!**

StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting?"

**Why is there a question mark? **

"nut ow StarOaw" he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR!'

**That was fast.**

"MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw.

**Oh God! Why are Badfics such a goldmine?**

YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war for onll 3.14 dayss

**But you are obviously very important and we need you to be a Warrior ASAP even though you haven't learned Jack-shit.**

butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect.

**She is a Mary Sue, what do you expect?**

We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. "

**Oh shit, really? *Grabs popcorn* Go Riverclan!**

"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed!

"Ya DustPelt did

**Ferncloud is going to be pissed, so is Dustpelts kids. His family makes up like half of Thunderclan.**

while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us." Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam.

**Your his mate! Kick his ass!**

But it wass ok she newt wht wus best.

**SHE AND FIRESTAR AND KIN!**

"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror!"

"Oak"

**She shall be known as Oak.**

said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!"

"Tday we are making a new Warrior."

The calnn GASPED!

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.

**Why? She's barley six moons old. This is Shadowclan all over again.**

Starpaw was so exited! She'd never bin so hap inner life!

"StarPaw….." said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"

"Yes!" she shock3d.

"oak." Eh sad. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness."

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan.

**So, she's still an apprentice?**

They

StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!"

**At least?! For the love of! You've been an apprentice for three days!**

"FireScar," she said, cuming over 2 him

**Hahaha!**

. "I wanna tell u somesing." They locked sirously at him.

***Rage mode active***

**I WARNED YOU! *Tableflip***

"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop shinning in his eayres.

Dos he knew? StarGlema think.

"Firestar…." She brethed. She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung.

"I….."

WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp.

**Thank you Onestar for stopping them! I owe you one!**

It was….

HOLYLEAF!

**She's evil? No surprise. Poor Hollyleaf... But I owe you one.**

_I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good so plzz review NICE!_

**You worked hard on this one? I couldn't tell.**

**I've been reading Starkit in advance. Trust me, it only gets worse from here on out.**


	10. Chatter NEIN

Chatter NEIN

**You heard her! No chatter!**

Teh Evil Tigger and holY

**Obvious chapter is obious.**

I SAID NO FLAMES!

**And I said more flames!**

YOUR JUST JELOS YOUR GOING 2 HEL LJESS IS OYUR SAVER

**I swear, what is it about these religious trolls not being able to spell Jesus right?!**

"Ohno its HolyLeaf!" yelled FireStra he ranned away.

**Why are you scared of your granddaughter? Its not like she's Lionblaze.**

SandStrom wnet aftre him.

**Sandstorm: Get your ass back here, Firestar!**

StarGlaem locked up.

***Rage mode active***

**RAWR! ITS LOOK!**

HolyLeaf was stnding their and their was anodder chat with hr.

**And I wonder who that may be.**

"OMIGOSH ITS TIGGERSTAR!" she hossed. "WHTA WIL WE DO!"

**Laugh because Tigger somehow became a clan leader?**

**When did that happen anyway?**

"we figt." saud Jayfeathre and he ran at HollyLeaf.

**Jayfeather, you're blind. How the hell are you going to fight?**

StarGlema washed as HolyLefa locked at JayFather and kiled him with one shot.

**HOLLYLEAF! YOU KILLED YOUR BROTHER!**

"YOU KILDED MY FTHER! she yelled and she attcked HolyLeaf. HollyPaw gut out of the way and StarPaw attaked TiggerSar.

**When did they become apprentices? And she is screwed. No way she can kill Tiggerstar. He is a good jumper.**

"U killed TigerStra!" uelled FiresStar he locked happy. "You are speshil!"

**Yes Stargleam, you are _special_. Now here is some catnip go play.**

StarGleam was sooo happy, she didng notse as HollyLea grabbed Firestar and took him way.

**Firestar is bigger than Hollyleaf, how the hell did she do that?**

"OH NO" yelled StarKit. "WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!

a cilf hunger1!111! see im a god riter i no what t

**Obviously.**

hta id thx f4r the good revweiws JzzPaw && everon else WHOSE NIT A FALMER


	11. The Shape-Shitter

Chapter Ten The Recluse

**Does she know what recluse means? I will be surprised if she does.**  
"EVERONE FALLOW ME" meowled StarPleam as see charred for th3 entranse to eh camp. Tares stremmed down her face1 she wuss so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn.

**Both are better off that way.**

"FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT

**Didn't he die?**

MOM LOINBLAZE FALLOW ME." She said. "I NEDD A PAROL."

**No! You do not get a parole! You're getting a life sentence!**

The run into the frost their pass working fastly. She wood kill HolyLeaf and TigerSar for what thed don!

**Honestly? They'll kill you.**

She batlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats.

**...what?**

Her heat burneded!

**That's heartburn kitty. Don't eat mice anymore.**

Sune they had funded them.

**Stargleam and Co: Funded evil cats since 2014.**

They were hidnig bwhind a bolder. "HAHAHAH" LAUGHED HOLylesf putting er claw on FiresTarS thort. "IVE GOT YOU KNOW!"

**How many lives does Firestar have left? Why would Hollyleaf want to kill her? Why do I wan't to put Leafpool instead of Hollyleaf?**

**I don't know.**

StarGleam gasped. "noooooo Fireheat!" she scemmed "FalmePawgo!" she said.

**Falmepawgo! Charge!**

Flamepaw hurled at HolyLeaf. Hollyleaf laked at her in suprise. "What how could they have fallowd me." She dogged at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig.

**Because they have to be able to. Plot Device.**

"NO FLAMEPAW" whaled LakePaw seing her sisters about too die. "I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW."

**Why are you yelling Falmepaw when Flamepaw is about to die?**

She yowled jumping herself in front of HOlyLeaf.

HollyLaffs paw cutt into hir throt blood came out LakePaw felt down.

**One died. Yay.**

"NOOOO!1!11" StarPaw screamed. "FLAMEAPWWW!"

**She is better off now that she is out of this story.**

She ran for HoltLeaf but it wass no us. LakPaw was dyeing. "I lofe you StarGleam." She wisperd before er blue I's cosed.

**Just die already.**

"NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL" shoited Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed she was cyring!

**Oh go cry a river and drown in it.**

"hahaha" laughed HollyLeaf evil. "u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree!

**Actually you aren't.**

I have pows beyound ur emaginating!" nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE!

**Look out! It's a bare!**

"Gasped" gasped everyone. It was a bare!

**We know.**

"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" siad Hollylea joyly.

**She's a shape-shitter! Look out! Her shit changes shape!**

"stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly. "I nedd to go back 2 the damp. I goat bury laekpaw. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back!"

**You idiot! you're an apprentice! Longer than Stargleam!**

"U ju wak to te the est. said StarPaw."

Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced up the LakePaw and putter on her back and run.

"nut so fast!" said Holyleaf! "Your not gunna get away that easly!" Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at StarGlaem!

Everone! Gasped! "NOOOO." Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk. "YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY."

Everyone jumped at the HoBare! The bare rared in pane! Starepaw sent her teeth into its for. It rared.

**It rared! It rared!**

"oak oka" HolyLeafthe bare said. "i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay." Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka she was on the grund. Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw!

**La Flamepaw!**

"LAKEPAW UR BACK!" SHE SAD

**Resurrection? DENIED!**

WHT SAID SPARGLAME. Thenshe locked. It was LakePool! She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy. Then she sawyer eyes.

**Tom, get out of this story!**

THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS!

**Ollyleaf, the clone of Hollyleaf.**

_the next chatter wil coke soon!_

**I think I need coke to get through this. Off to the continence store across the street!**

_ AND STUP FLAMMING YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD._

**I'm best friends with a guy who's constantly moody and rarely happy. It's difficult to believe in good.**


	12. This whole story is Hellclan!

Catter 1 The Fiht Aganst the Sitters 1

**My money is on the sister that's less spoken about.**  
"Oh nose!"

**My nose!**

yellded StarPaw she wus so horrorifed. "LakePaool is buck and seh is NUT OKA!"

**Nut Oka! Nut oka! **

"Of coarse im not okay!" LakeFall screchemd loadly

**Calm yo tits, and when did you become a warrior?**

she issed at StarGlame. "I'm being posesd by HolyLeaf wut do you THINK!" she yelddl

**So, Hollyleaf can shape-shit and possess cats.**

and hulrd hesselv at StarPaw. StarGlme was so surpissed she culdn;t mofe

**Just because you're surprised doesn't mean you can make up words.**

Then... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It was...

**Shitty suspense is shitty.**

REDPAW! Redpaw runnth over to StarPaw and jumped in font of herr and LakePolawm

**Who are you? What happened to the dead Lakepaw and the possessed Lakefall?**

hit her insta.

"Nuu Redpaw!" chked StarGlamea and she locked at RedPaw. "RedOaw are yu okayo?"

**"No I'm not okay! I'm in this fucking story! What do you think?"**

she esked upsed. RedPaw cughed. "No im not but at leaat I sawed yuour lif! she sed and then he did. StarFlame locked at RedPaw she wus so buttifly

**Hear that! Redpaw is buttifly!**

then StarGleam shock her hud. "No Im STRREET!" she taught madly. "but now what do we dao agant LakePaw!" she lucked up. LakePaw was runnen toward Loinblzx and she was WIDESPED!

**"I'm streeeeeeeeet!"**

**Jayfeather "No, daughter, you are not a street."**  
"NOWWWWWWW LIonHEAR!"

**"Um, Stargleam. I'm dead."**

wisprd StarGalem and she ran towed LionBlaze and she hit LakePaw, who did to.

"StarGlame I will get u for thiss11 sed LakePaw as SatinClaw drag away to hellClan.

**Obviously this author does not know anything about this series. There is no Hellclan, there is no Satinclaw. That would suggest that these clans are Christian. Their Hell is the Dark Forest. ..My head hurts now from reading this.**

He waswerng oink naie Polish.

**What?**

then StarGlame stinted to crry as she realed that her sitter ass ded.

**Her sitters ass is dead!**

"you killd my Subjt!" HolyLeaf rared turng back in a bare. "Ilus get you for thi!" she saud and then she rudhed at StarPlame. "Oh o!" yelld every1 "tarPaw got our of the Way!"

**No! Let her die!**

Tim semd to slow danw as StarPawlem run awy from the bare. But she ran left into... TIGGERSTAR!"  
**"This is for dragging me into this story to replace Tigerstar! IM NOT EVEN FROM THIS SERIES!"**  
"Fuhrstar! yellded a TiggerStraw. "You ar gong to did now!" And he held out... SOME JEW!

**Some Jew? That poor Jew! Get your hands off of him/her!**

"Omg jyew!" elld FamePaw she locked at the yew. "But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it." They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away.

**...okay?**

"... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled FamePaw. "Now the yew is gunna wkr!

**The yew? What about the Jew?**

"Ete the yew!" sadi TiggerStar he thirst it at StarGlame StarGleam baked away. "You're never get moi to ete it!" she esked and then she held "YOUE NEVER TOOK ME ALIV!"

**You'll never take me alive! *Jumps out a window***

"are you so sur?" aksed TigerClar and then he lung at StarGlema and grabed her and ran away. "Youl never cathg me!1111 he laght meanly. "Im gong to Shadowcaln!" And then he luf.

**You are Shadowclan's ex-clan leader.**

Guyx I ben working relly hard on this wile I was gon. im sor'ry for the wait. Revew betetr and ill updat mor quick  
**Ugh...Kill me now.**


	13. Death and Love Pentagons

Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest

**The idiot version of the Dark Forest.**

"NO!" yewled StarKit. She run after TigerClaw.

**What happened to Stargleam and Tiggerstar?**

but he was to fat.

**Lay off the mice, Tigerstar. You heard her, your fat.**

She cudlnt catch up. Finly she stoped. She was so tried so sad, Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed and tigerstar had ExcapeD!

**I'm still wondering how he's alive in the first place.**

"y am I so ulsess?/?/'

**Because you are**

she dsked. "why couldnt i kill her?"

**Because your just that useless.**

"its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. "WHAT WHOSE THEIR" SHE SAID JUMPED.

It juts me. " said JayWing

**You've been dead for God knows how long. You're not a clan cat!**

waking to bedside her. "Yo couldt kill im becas u're nut dead."

**Unfortunately.**

"what" said StarGleam "What dlo you men."

"hes in the Dakr Froset!" said JayFeather.

**Jayfeather?! What happened to Jay's Wing?**

"hess allready ded!" oh no what do I do thouth starGeam.

**Yes! He's already dead! Scourge killed him in book six, remember?**

"we can go to teh Dark Forste but its ver danger." Mewled Jayfeater. "tack me their!" sad StarGleam.

**I wonder who's the medicine cat now that Jayfeather is dead. Just curious.**

She slepped and then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark.

**Fark Forest? What happened to the Sark Forest? Or the Dark Forest? How many forests are there?!**

Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar!

**Tiggerstar is the permanent replacement to Tigerstar.**

"ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln" he was said. "WHAT NOO!" said StarPaw she jumped at him.

**What to ruin the element of surprise.**

she was aboot to hit him when BlackStripe was there!

**Who's Blackstripe?**

"TIGERSAR WATCH OUT" said BlackStrip. TierStar loocked at her and he clawed her. It wasnt fare!

**Well, yes it is fair. You went into the fight with only three days of training, against a warrior who was a Clan Leader and one of the most infamous Cats out there.**

StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming from a wand on her sholder. It was a lot of red blod. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai,

**Oh shit! No! Hawkfrost! Nooo!**

he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her.

**Why?! Why her?! Why!**

He jumped in TiggerStar! he bit him! But it wa s to lat. StarPaw was dyeing.

**From a shoulder wound people. Can I just say weak?**

"it was turning balkc. "I love you seh said as she did.

**She love Hawkfrost now too? Girl! you just met him! he's dead!**

AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!

**Oh God! She's dead?!**

**...**

**CELEBRATION TIME! Woohoo! *Runs around like a madwoman with glee***


	14. The Ten Commons

**Man this is fast. These chapters are probably around a hundred words each.**

Cahpter 13 The Metang wit Sartcaln

**It's not over? Noooooo! *Curls up in a ball and cries***  
"Omigish what happnd! shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. "am I in Starclan?"

**Unfortunately, it seems you deserve Starclan.**

she eskes when she say the cats that she new.

"No of cours not your in the Daek Forest!" gagged a gray he-cat.

**Who apparently does not deserve a name even though she claims to know him.**

StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. "Yes your in SatrCaln! said the she-ca. It was YellowFang. "Wher else wood you be?"

**In an asylum? **

"Yuo dont need to be so red! said StarGlame she was mad."

**Learn to get a sense of humor.**

sorry said YelllowFang but that made me made."

***Pretends that the line made sense***

"its ok" said StarGleam. "but i was in the sark forest so...HOW DID I DYE?

**Murder.**

"TigerStra killed you" said BlueeStar cumin over to her.

**I will not snicker at that...I will not...I wi-pfft!**

"he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret"

"Wait so then I'm died?" StarGlame.

**Finally.**

"What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!"

**Let the forest burn! It's better that way then having you save it! Besides! The cats aren't at the forest anymore, they're at the lake!**

"That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!" saud WhitStrip.

**Whitstrip?**

"But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first."

"Omg what is it" lauged StarPaw she stinted to jump up and down with joe." "I wnat to knew"

**"Next time you die, you go to the Dark Forest."**

"wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe" said LeafPool

**When did Leafpool die?!**

and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them. "their the ten commons!"

**Please don't let it be what I think it is...**

"OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS" squelled StarGleam and she was so exited. "I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?"

**You don't even know what they are! Oh God! She's turning Stargleam into Jesus!**

"Ya" said BleuStar "we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten. Thats why we nedd you to do it four us!"

**YOU ALREADY HAVE COMMANDMENTS! ITS CALLED THE WARRIOR CODE! Remember? **

"Okay" said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with her.  
***Facedesk* Please, end this, now!**


	15. Author Can't Count

Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments

**She's turned this into a fake Biblical tale.**  
Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. Their were no cats otusdie.

**And why aren't there any cats standing guard?**

"SLL CATS GATER" she sadi. They cats gatehred.

***shakes head* Listening to her why?**

"I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/" she said.

**HEARSAY!**

The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. "be quite" starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.

**Now run in circles**

***They ran in circles***

"here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. "Loack at the them.

**It's four letters! How many ways can you misspell Look!**

Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan."

**Raise your hand if you just hate this story for it's stupidity?**

***Raises hand***

She said. They loked at the roxk.

"1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters

**We kind of need to know what a goincester is first.**

2. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them. If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits.

**I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way.**

4. don't say Starcclan in vane.

5. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1.

**For the love of! Starclan is NOT God!**

6. Repsect our mom and dad.

7. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e

***looks up Warrior Code***

**"An honorable warrior does not need to kill other cats to win his/her battles, unless they are outside the warrior code or if it is necessary for self-defense."**

**This chick is destroying the Warrior Code! Kill her!**

8. don't br unfateful to our mat.

**Firestar! Graystripe! You are apparently going to Hellclan.**

**So is Stargleam for assisting them and encouraging that behavior.**

**And so is Jayfeather for cheating on Stick.**

9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland.

10. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh.

10. Don't be jelos og your neiborgh.

11. No BENG GAY!f

**I don't think 11 counts. It's the TEN Commandments. **

**She can't count apparently.**

The cat GAPSED. "Im sorry" said DaysPow. "ive ben a sinner. Ill do better next time!" Al the cats agred. StarPaw was happy!

***Face palm* these cats are idiots.**

Teh were aon the write pat! If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong!

**Wrong. **

But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING

**And I declare this ship ready to sail.**


	16. The Worst Thing Ever

**I want to thank everyone for all the reviews so far. Thank you. I think this story might be more popular then our Twilight review.**

Cohpter Fiften THE TURTH

**Dun, dun, duuun!**

StarGlam marced ofer too RedPaw and LakePaw she looked angrily. "WhT DID I JUTS SAY?/" she esked.

**"Why da fuck would we listen to you for?"**

"The elfenth commonment is NO BEING GAY!11

**Eleventh doesn't count. It's ten commandments. **

"But I love her!1" said LakePol._(a/n. EW!11 THIS IS DIGUSTING)_

**_You _are disgusting! Love is love, motherfucker.**

"But its agant the ten commdnents!" saud StarPaw.

**Says the bitch who probably made up the eleventh because of her own homophobia and Starclan didn't outlaw it.**

She wanet over and thurst herslef betwen them. "Do you WANT to go the dark foret?"

"Yes?" ansed RedPaw.

**If Starclan supports Stargleam, then I would too, Redpaw. I would too.**

"No you dont" said StarGleam "it'sa relly horribld place." I kno, Ive been their!"

**Why didn't you stay there?!**

Were sory said RedPaw and lakePolw. They locked sadly. "We wont do it agan."

**No! No! All hands on deck! We must protect this ship! It's taking water! Oh gods! It's sinking! No! Keep it afloat if it kills you!**

"I hope not" said StarGlame turng around and walkin back to FireStar. "We have to show this to the rets off the calns.

**NO! Why are you acting like you're in charge?! You are not Medicine Cat! You are not Clan Leader! You're not even a deputy! Die! Die to the rebels!**

"ok said FireStar" "we should go to the Gathern."

"If we go to the Gathern then I can shoe off the commendments to the other claans1" gagged

**A perfect reaction to this story.**

StarGlame happ;y. "Cmon lets go!" She ran of not wating fro any other cat and then she was at the Gathern!

**It's night time? It's a fullmoon? What the fuck?**

"ATENSION ALL CATS" she yelled lepping to the HighRock. ?

**Okay, the fuck is going on! High Rock is at the Forest! They left the Forest during the first half of The New Prophecy! They are at the lake! They have that giant tree!**

"I NEDD YOU'RE ATTENSION I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER"

**Announcer: My announcement is that Stargleam is an idiot.**

"Omg what is it!11!1" shocked MitsyFoot. "Is it imptent!"

**Okay, this is not how the other Clans would react to her behavior.**

"Yes of cors its imptent!111!1"! yellded StarGleam "or else I wuldnt be hear!" "I have the ten Commandmeonts and you need to kno what they ar!" She red the ten commons

**And they called her out on her inability to count. Please be right!**

ot to the other calns and theny all bowed down to her. Thank you for teling use SarkGleam they said happly." "We sont sin again!"

**...**

"God" said StarGleam she jumped form the HighRoke. She saw FireStar cumin

**Firestar! Public indecency! **

threw the crowed towed jer. "StarGlame you are a much beter cat then me at this1 you should be letter. Im not deid so ill go join the eldlers insted!" he said

**No! No! Nooooooooooooooo!**

***Curls up in ball crying***

**Why!?**

and he tuched his noise to StarGleams. "You have to go to the MonStone today to go get your nien lives. Ill go with you and so will JayFather."

**Jayfeather is Dead! Hollyleaf killed him.**

"Kawaii" said StarGlema happly.

**Wrong reaction is wrong.**

They left the Gathern and all the cats were cherring for her,

_So hod u guys lik eit? _

**You suck.**

_it wass so didsuting 2 rite the gya part. _

**You sunk my ship. You must be destroyed.**

_HBut thigs are guna be better no inteh clams! Also if ur a bad reveiwer u dont belive in Gosh _

**How the fuck can you misspell God?!**

_ull go 2 hekc. thx guys for the god reveis. !_

**She's going to be clan leader...She's barley six moons old and she's going to be Clan Leader. Starclan can't give her nine lives. _*Refers to Nightstar who didn't get nine lives because Brokenstar was still alive*_ Firestar is still alive.**

**Just...why?**

**My favorite book series has been destroyed because of this mess.**

**I'm going to cry in a corner. Feel free to join.**


	17. Receiving the Lives

Chaper Sixteen The Nane Lifes

**She doesn't even deserve one life.**

But suddenly as SatyrGleam was leafing theri was a nose from the bushs and Shadwclan spring out!2! their was TailPoppy LittleCold, RedStrom OwlPad SchorcWind _(there from the Alliances I mad them warrior they don apear in the books)_

***Repeatedly slams head against desk* **

and CeaderGeart, and Twanypelt & RustFur, all of BlacStars bets warriors. StarGleams malting orange swammed with suprise.

**Her orange what?**

What ere they going t do? "StarGlaw" said Blackstar sadly. "U cant becomed leader then it will be inblossble for us to have kitsss!" jhe said.

**It's impossible anyways! She's still practically a kit! **

"Ive got to do BlackSrar its my detsiny." You cant fihtg feat.'

**No your destiny isn't to become Clan Leader. Its to fall in a volcano.**

"No!" he meowled. "I don't want to loose you!" "Its oky" sad FireHeart he was called that new sinch he wasnt ladder, he hadnt leafed yeat. "Ya" sad GaryStripe "we lofe her to"

**You two have mates!**

"ok" sad BlackStar sadly. They wacked away. StarGlem was glad, she had anew love. Se didnot want 2 dell with this wright now.

**She has a harem.**

StarGleam mead LoinBalze her depudy he take the clkan back to camp.

**Brambleclaw should be deputy. He should be clan leader.**

Her and JayFeather and FireStar

**Who is apparently alive and clan leader again.**

walked to the MoonPool. "I cant belive it sadi StrGleam. "I can." Said JayFeater he was smelling StarPaw

**Why are you smelling her?**

almots gasped shed never seen her father smiel befour! "Your a grate leddar StarGleam ive always none since the first day I saw yo."

**...Jayfeather, may I remind you that you're blind?**

"Relly." She aksed. "Relay," he said. She smiled to for teh firts time in a log time she was really happy! Shed had someny toms chating after her but now this would be Oka!

They were closed to the MoonSnot

**Moon Snot. Enough said.**

now. StarGleam was startig to gut a litel nervis. Wha if starClan didnt like her?

**Don't worry Stargleam, I'm sure that's not true. They probably despise you.**

They went ot the MoonPolo. It was a shinny; rotund poll. StarGlean had never sen enythin so buetifly inner life befor. "im so produ of you," said FireTar his gaze tinkling. StarGleap purSmiled and liked the warter.

It was dark! StarGel am opened erh eyes and she was in a froset. Then there weas lots of stars. 'like me' she thoguth lokoing at the star in her foreheed.

**How can you look at the star on your forehead?**

Then they shinned brighter and there were cats! lost of cats and they were ver starry. Starclab!1!11!

**Star Club, sounds legit.**

"Are ou reedy" shouted on of them frob the front. "yes sad starKit whe was turbling with exitmente!

"ong of them came up. It was a blue cat. 'Bullstar'

**Who's Bullstar?**

wispered StarGleam ahstruck. "With this live I gave you liedership said BleuStar puttinger noise to StarGleams. It hurtd! BlueStar wakled away StarGleam wandered ho muck more of this she cold tack it hurt so much she terbled.

**It better hurt!**

"With this life I give you corrage" said YellowFag storling up to StarPleam. It hurted like neddles!1

BambleCalw came nex.

**Who apparently died offscreen.**

He put his mose on StarGleam's forehed. It hurt lick TiggerSTars class!

**Tiggerstars class? Where can I sign up?**

WithStorm stambled over next. "Woth this lift. I give you strenth. Us it well to pertect your clan."

LeaveWind cam on to her. "Wit this life i give u nolledge." It hurt like fier!1

She god a liff rom BundleFace form motherlinest a life from TailStar for qiickness, & a life for StoneFur for bravvery.

**Um, why would those two give her a life? Neither knew her.**

She was shacking she didn nok if she cold mack it!

And then… frorm the cord…. came…. A LINO!1!11!1

**Oh God! No!**

SatrGleam GASP! "This is ThunderStar" mowed TallStar. He was the first ledder of Thunerclan! OR it was called LoinClan."

**Thunderstar was a cat, not a lion. **

StarPaw coudnt breath? She was so exited and so onered! "I cat beliv its relly you ThungerStar she said in ah. "Its meh" said the lion.

**...**

He toched his mastiff nose to her nose and the pan was worst than ever befor! StarGleam thougth she would de!

**If only we were that lucky.**

"With his life I give o HEAR

**Because she's deaf.**

. You have a realy strong heat bfour but is even stornger now, thank you for giving comandaments to the Calns. Wath would Starclan

doo witouth you

**They would have legit peace.**

Now I will giv you a namr."

"Wat!" shotud StarGleam ass he opened his moth. "I donk want my bame to be StarStar that would be stuped!

**You can't change the rules. That's why very few cats are named Starkit in the first place.**

I want to be called GleamStsr!"

"Fery well" said LionStar doping his head he wold lisent to StarGkeam she was specal. I now pronunce you….. GLEAMSTAR!'

**I now pronounce this 20% worse!**

Butt as the cats begun to cherr, there was a dankness! The darknest swolled everything! She could small BLODO! Suddenly TigerStar and HolyLeaf were there! In her vishon! She sa them tacking over the clans and ther was an arm of rogues and cats were deing! And suddenly … … their was a cat suruonded by a godlen lite!1!1! It was… HACKFROST!

**Who's Hackfrost?**

He made all the bad stuff disapare.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!" yelled StarGleamStar

**Who had suddenly turned into a cow.**

walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11!

**Now if only you can say you can't be in love with Firestar (I refuse to call him Fireheart!) and Graystripe.**


	18. One love leaves, another is claimed

Chapter 17 Returnr

**Yep, return to a new chapter of this.**

**I'm really sorry you have to read this.**  
StarGleam shock her head waling up from the derm. FireStar

**Who is apparently leader again while she's a warrior now.**

was looking at her and his gren eys where sorrid. "GlaeStar you were takling in yuour slept are you ok?" he asked. JayFeather looked upsid to.

**Will someone explain why Jayfeather isn't dead?**

"Yeah yeah Im fin" StarGleam reponded gettin up. "I just had a badd dream thass all." "It's nothen."

**A bad dream? Um, you were getting your nine lives, of course you're going to look like you're in pain.**

"If your sur." Said FireStrar and they left the MonoPool and headed back too the Thundercaln camp.

"GleamStar your back!" they said happy, crowding all over her. LakePaw and RedPaw looked sad thou, becas GleamStarg has sad they cant be in luv.

**Ignore her! You two can be in love! Fight the power bcause Stargleam has no power! My ship shall rise again!**

But GleamSar ingored them. But she new she had too do somefing more impotent.

**"It is time for me to take my royal Catnap!"**

"LinoBlaz" she said locking for her deputy. "I nedd you to tack a patrole tothe Sadowclan boulder,"

**I want you to claim that rock!**

"I need you ro tell BlackStar im leder know." she said

**He already knows, remember?**

and she turnd and walked over the keader's den evwn though everone was trying to ask her questns about the serimy. "Guysz let me to to bed" she said shoeing them awy. /"Let me have a niche to myself!"

**A nap really is more important?**

They all walked away groabling. "She nevwr let's us have any fun" said BeryNoise. "Thats not kawaii at all."

**Yes! The seeds of rebellion! **

GleamStar didnlt care sge was waiting for FireStar. Then FireHert came into her den. "I'm levving" he said

**That is the smartest thing you've said this entire story.**

and he lef. StarGleam followed him uyelling "WAIT!1!11 Where are you gong?"

"Well I cant be ledder so I'm just goint to leaf for a while. Maybe Ill be a rogue, or maybe I'll go join skyCaln. Who knows?" Then he luf. StarGamet was sad b/c that was her mentor and one of the cats she luvved

**And her Great-Grandpa.**

leaving but it was ka since thass what he wanted to due.

**I think we all know Firestar wouldn't just leave because of that. But he is more than welcome in Skyclan.**

"Its oka StarStar"

**Oh my God! Pick a name and stay with it!**

said HawkFrot appearating out of nonwhere. "I mean I love you so its all god."

**You. Are. Dead. Hawkfrost. Why are you there!**

"I no" said StarGlea prring she wrapped her tail around HawkFrosts face she dint care that he was a rogue, she loved him.

**You don't care that he's evil, that he tried to kill Firestar, or that he's dead? Necro!**

And now they could be togethier!/  
**I'm pretty sure the Warrior Code is against her and him.**


	19. Round 3

Chater Eitheen The Deat 11 11 1  
StarKit weak up shed been asleep.

**Thank you captain obvious.**

Their was ayoll from the capm! She run otides her den she junped of the HighRidge. "I gott to kill ou: somone sadi. It WA.S….. TIGEERSTAR!

**Tigeerstar? What about Tiggerstar and Tigerstar?**

"Ttlu."

**Ttlu?**

Said HollyLefa meanly from his ides. GLEAM STAR welled "GET OUT OF THE CRAMP EVERYONE"

**Cramps are not allowed!**

she coldu hander it heself.

**No, no you can't.**

"No" said BarkFall "we elov you somuch StarGleam we could'nt leafe u"

**Oh God! I can't take this 'everyone loves her' anymore! *leaps out window***

NAD THE CATS FOUT!

HolyKeaf turned into… a…. FUX! GlameStar surpised.

**Hollyleaf use tackle!**

**Glamestar is tackled!**

She jopped! But it was too latte!1 The foz was an inc form her face when LinoBlaze apparetd! She clawed him They're was bold.

**The bold! The _bold_!**

"noooooo" said GleamStart. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks.

**The Redundancy joke is getting old.**

Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani..

**Why is your eyes constantly changing colors?!**

It was beutifly thohth HawkForts.

"its oyak StarGleam." said LionBealz. "I doe for you. it makes me gay whit hapyness."

**And it will be taken out of context in 3...2...1**

"LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2" said StG;eamStar. gasp. was here clan bevoming quare. Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!

**Stargleam, Gay is not just a sexuality, Gay was originally a term for happiness.**

"NOOP" said GleamStar, "HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE THOU."

**I think you mean 'My fathers brother'.**

She said. She lapped at HolltLeaf!

**Hollyleaf is your aunt, remember that.**

HollyFale lagged and run "its to lare" she meowled "lock behind u"

**RAWR!**

StarGleam looked. TiggClaw was scratching DAWNSPAEKLE she run up the he cat clawd him he ran aya. "get pout of here Hacky-kin" she sad its too danheros" "iie" 9meanes no) said Hawkyfrost.

***Blinks***

"I lobe you my daer I wan't live you."

But the cats weer goin. Tiggerstar lagged sadly. "you mayt have defted ous this time," his said "but nest time well be STORNGER." Then he left. Then HolyLeag left. Then thuneer clan was saf!

**So long as you're leader, its never safe.**

"since LionBleaze deid said Gleamstar I nedda new depudy. JazzPaw cum hear.

**Haha**

JazzPaw came. "JazzPaw I want make you in warrior. So you can bw my depduey."

**I don't think you can make your best friend deputy because their your best friend.**

JaszPaw smieled! She was so happ! "JazzPaw form now n youll be JazzSong. Also ur my depdy. Anyone have a problem with that?: she was mean bcase she was sad~ no the cats said obdenintley.

**Stargleam is a shitty leader.**

They new he was sad. They ripsected it,, linblaze was her after all.

**Lionblaze = Stargleam? What?**

besider mots of the cats thouhth StarG;eam was kawai when she was mad her eyes robbled.

**That doesn't sound attractive. Then again a cat doesn't sound attractive in the first place.**

She and hawkFrost slept NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS?

**She already broke the commandments. **

_Im sorr it tock so logn, but I think I did real god on hese chathers. I was tiered the last one was log_


	20. Cat Marriage

**Hey guys, I don't know if I'm going to make that many chapters today. I'm kind of sick. But here's a chapter anyways.**

19 The Mirage 1!  
The nex mourni StarGleam wock up and HawkForost was still sleppin next to her.

**I still can't get over the StarXHawk ship. I hate it.**

She dint wnat to ake him so she letf he then and went to look for a bunch of ctas to go on parolt.

**Isn't it your deputys job for patrols?**

"JazzSong RedPaw LakePaw FlamePelt your all goint on a parolel to the Windyclna broader." She said

**The Windyclan border is extremely dangerous.**

and then she went back to her den to wake HawkGorest up she had to tell him sumthn.

"HawkFrost lets get marred."

**Cat's don't get married.**

She cok him up and locked at him expacently as he blined his amber eys.

**His eyes are blue.**

"Oh sweat that's a freat idea! he said." Sould we talthe claN?"

"Yah thats whu I was wakcg you up." She left the den and HawkfOrst was folowig. "Let All Vats Older To Cath There On Pray Gather Hear Benth The High:edge For A Clan Mettin!

They all gathered even though Milloe was upset that BriadPaw had been hurt. _(a/n i havent actually red Fading Eches yet but Ive heard that she gets hurt!1!1!1111")_

**Broken spine.**

"HawkFrost and I are getting mriaged!" yelld StarPaw happ;y. Everone startwf crapping! They were soooo happly for StarGstar they new she nedded a mat.

**Cat's can't get married.**

"Do you knw what we shuld do?" called out BubPaw and StarGleam didn't want to listen to him because he was stpid _(a/n just look at his narem how culd he NOT be stupd!1?1)_

**You are stupid.**

but she was ledar so she decided to hurm him. "What is ist BubmFlit" she esked lokoking at the he cat.

"We should go annunce it at the Gathern!" he said and everony chered. They all aruged with him. So the Thhner caln cats left for the Gatherin.

**Which is apparently in the middle of the day whenever Thunderclan wants it.**

But when they got there... they saw... BullStar was dead! In his palsh was... FLAMESTAR!

**Go Flamestar.**


	21. At The Gathering

Chapter 19 The Nwe Love  
_Stupid falmes! ur all satinsit1s! StarKesus is ur saver y cant u just eccept that._

**So your character is Jesus? Whatever.**

_ Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!_

**Point; missed.**

_Btw Jazz are you happy wih the last chpaetr? i no im promised u I wood mack you depduey_  
gasped! 'What are ou doing her FireStar" she  
said.

**"I should never have made you leader. So I'm taking over Shadowclan to overthrow you."**

"I tock over ShaderClan" he said happly. "I went 2 there teratory n they fondu me there. The told me that BlakStar was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide."

**Blackstar is dead? What about Bullstar?**

"OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN" SIAD StarGleam.

**Says who? Its not in the Warrior Code.**

"i know rite." said FierStart "but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat."

**I wouldn't want to be his meat either.**

GleamStar was said for a mome. But then she rembered her and Hawkfrost-kun were geting marred! And she was happy again.

**Wow, way to go! You mourned for five seconds.**

She run towreds the HighOka a;; the cats wer catching her aw she past. They wanderd why she was even more readient then ussal today. It was  
bcause she is happy. HawkFirst throgut.

"Cast of all clasn!" se yewled. "I have an nounce!"

"what is it ledder" they all said.

"HawkFrpst and me…are getting… MARTED!"

**Are you just using the Gatherings to tweet about your own unimportant shit?**

The clcats cherred in saw and happy! Some of them where said the enver got t2 be StarGleams mat but they wer happy anyways becas they lovved her and knw what was bet.

**Everyone literally loves her.**

"let the marrige begin"

But bfore the marige cold happin… there was a nose!

**No! Not a nose!**

"I WANT HER TO B MY MATE" sdi a vice from Abobe!

"Starclan?" sad GleamSyar?

**Because Starclan is one cat.**

"No." said the vice. "its…THE DAK FROSET!"

And then therw ere clods!1111 It stared to rain! And..litening stroked! it hert StarFleam!

It hurt.

AND GLEAMSTAR CODLU FELL HETSELF DID!11!111!1!  
1!/

**She's dead! Yay!**

SHE wock up. Se was in the dark frost she rmebered. It was blak around. "blackstar" she siad wanderin if hed' wanted 2 see was blackStar a bad cat she wandered she didn't know if he wod o to teh Fark Firest!

She shaw a shap in the dirtence. "BackStar?" shse seda. "its meh starGleam

Then the Ashfur is in Starclan cat torned arund. It was… ASSFyR!

**But Ashfur is in Starclan**

Ashfir locked aht her. "gigle" he said "glemstar… ur beatiful….like SquireFlit…i wnted u…to be….my met?"

"NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Gleam.

**Nooooooooooooo!**

He looked sad. "what do u mena" he said.  
And then… was BROCKENSTAR?

**Brokenstar! Kill them!**


	22. Return to Starry-clan

Chapter 20 STARCALN

**We are once again at Starclan, hopefully for poker night or to sacrifice Stargleam.**  
"Oh no Broakcnstar!" yelled StarGleam mad;y I can;t be talkin to brokenStar!" And sheran away leaving AshFurt behin her.

**Why can't she talk to him?**

She run and ranned and runend and then se was at StarClan!"

"Yay Im not at the dark Fort anymro1!

**Hun, you weren't at a fort in the first place.**

she thought happly and then she wasked across the broard and then she was in Starclan!1

"Welcmon to Starcaln said YellowFangn she was stnding ther with LefPool, BrambleClan,

**Who apparently didn't deserve on-screen deaths or even a mention of how they died.**

SpottedLeaf and BakSrae.

**Who's Baksrae?**

"Blakstar yoyre not in the Dark FGort !" Gleamstar yelled hellpy, she didnt want him to be their she lovd him after all.

**This cat is a whore! You love Firestar *cough* incest *Cough*! You love Graystripe, you love Hawkfrost, who you're going to marry, and you love Blackstar! For the love of all that's good! I forbid you to love! Readers can love, just not you Stargleam.**

"Of course not" BlackStar relipe. "wy would i be their I mean I luv tou after tll2!"

**What has that got to do with his crimes?**

"well thats tru" reoidned Gleamstar. "but I can't be in StarCan! Oalready came here once I cant do it agan!"

**You got to die nine...eight more times actually, before you die forever. **

**...**

**I declare it Stargleam Hunting Season! Readers! Get your guns! We gotta kill this cat nine more times!**

"well it looks like you haf. said BlueStar and she said "but we cant send you back to the calns again, this time it locks like we'll have to REINCART YOU."

"Omh Reincartion!" yelled StarGam "you mean like what haopned to CinderPaw?"

**How would you know about that?**

"Yah" said CinderPelt comin yp to her "thast what happened t me I was reicnanrt." She Said.

**Shhh! Don't tell her!**

"But it might be awhile" said SpottedPool "after all we have to figre out Ow were going do that firtsl}

**Because after reincarnating Cinderpelt you forgot.**

"go do somethinm elese"

**Okay Stargleam, here is some catnip and toys. Go play by a really deep pool of water and drown.**

**... Don't look at me like that! You want it too!**

"okay" siad GleamStar and she luf. She heard her namer being called and she turnd around and saw HawkForst standing over her body.

"StarPaw noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!" je yowle. "Starcaln how ould you od this to me!"

**"Because you were a violent, manipulative, power-hungry cat willing to hurt anyone to get what you wanted."**

"We were about to get marti.

**"Not possible, bitch."**

"Im sorry Hawk Frost" said StarGleam "I'll be back soon I think"!

**Are they forgetting that Clan Leaders have nine lives? I think she did.**

"Wat whose there?" HawkFrost looked around but hed idnt sieantyhing.

"Its me GleamStar" said GleamStra looking at him.

"I cant see yo" he said and he buped into a tree. Then he fele down.

**Is he blind now?**

"bye HawkForst!" said StarGleam and she left cius she didn' want to see what would haben when her belocd HawkyForest wock up so she luf.

"hi their StarGlema" said a voice and GlemaGleam looked around. "Whose there!1!11!" she eked and it was... Falled leaf!1!111111!1!11111

**What?! How is he there! He isn't even _in _Starclan! He's in the Tribe of Endless Hunting!**

**He better be there to kick her ass.**


	23. Now She's Thinking With Purtle's

Chatpre 21 The Purtle

**The purtle! _The Purtle! _**  
Felled Leaf what hare you doing here" said StarGlean.

**Yeah, what are you doing here?**

"I'm here to dilevere a propheci." He he said."I allredy kow about the propheco." she siad. "out of the darknedd, stargl will come and get rid of the evil tigger and holy."

**Which is totally not an obvious prophecy.**

"Thast not one I mean."

**Sadly, a new prophecy.**

Said Falleb Leaf. "I mean….theyr are dayk throats in the forst."

**Dayk Throats?**

"w?" said GlStarGleam "U see ther are still cast who dont belive in Starclan.""WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY"

**After everything she's done, I would doubt Starclan too. Who in their right mind would give an idiot like her power? Let alone authority?**

"The Dork Forest is tacking over theri minnds. Said Falled Leave. There using ClodTail and MotWig tu help them.

**Cloudtail and Mothwing? Oh no you didn't!**

So you must…. Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##! Weave all ben watting for you GleamStar." And then he luft.

**But...but...**

Starlgeam dint have any tim to thick=====think

**Thick-think. A process that uses common sense and rationality, and of course brain cells.**

becuse some1 called her nam!

"STarGleam" called SpotedLeaf. "Its time for you to b riencarted." "YAY"

**Wonder how bad they'll fuck up reincarnating her. **

said Gleamstar. Thery was a portle. She locked at the portel. It was suierling 7 brihte. "Go in thru there" siad BallStar. He loked said that Stargleam codnt be with him but she new hed be ok. She nugled him he felled better.

**Of course he'll feel better, not only is she going to be 6 moons younger, but she's also going to marry a complete douche.**

then she wandred what woldu happen. "We ont know for sure." omitted BeluStar. "But it worked b4 itl wokr agaen.'

StarGkeam was abuut to step into the purtel ehwn…. SHFUR!11!

"NO" HE SAID" I WNAT HER FOR HIMSELF"

**Whose this 'himself'?**

"quick StarGleam getting" said hestering towered the portle

Justs as she was about to jup in….. HawkAShfur pussed aginst her! She was nocked forwered into the suirling purtle!111

_**The Purtle!**_

She lookced back to se….ASHFUR Had cum BACK ThRU TO1!11!1

**So, Ashfur is reincarnated as a kit? Make your bets boys and girls, on how fucking wrong they got the reincarnation and what being reincarnation means!**


	24. Reincarnated Cats

NextChapter  
_oka im back! i saw the good reviews some ppl gave me and i wnated to come back. _

**Well, at least she's back. I don't know if that's a good thing.**

_Also my friend JazzPaw is helping wit the chapters _

***looks at all the red* doesn't look like someone helped.**

_she healped me with the first tow but after that she didnt' have internte but hse got it back now. :DDDDDDDDD_

***sarcasm* Woo!**

Then StarKit wock up and she was in the forest.

**Maybe they did get the reincarnation right, she's a kit again-wait, the author is always fucking up the last part of her name.**

"Mew" she said becuse the sould'nt talk becuse the was a kit.

**Holy shit she is reincarnated.**

"Hello kitty" said her mother and StarKit lookd up.

Her mother... was HolyLeaf!"

**Dun...dun...dun! **

**Wow, she and Fallen Leaves finally had kits.**

"t!" said SatrKit. She lokce around to see whar she was.

**I don't think she would know her past life.**

"Were in the Donderclan camp" said HolyLeaf "oh look here comes yourfather now!"

Into the nursey came... TigerSar!

**Who is dead. Just how fucked up is this getting? On a scale of 1 to 10.**

**I feel bad for Fallen Leaves now.**

StarKit new ther was soemthing she should no about TiggerStar but she didnt know wat.

"Thass your daddy TiggerStar!" said HolyLef.

**Wait, I thought Tigerstar was her dad?**

"I no that nam" though StarGit but she could thing about it becuse HolyLeaf said "Their are other kits out there go aly with them I have to takl to TigerSar in peace/

**So, both Tiggerstar and Tigerstar are there.**

StarKit wnet out into the clering and the cats wer stnding over the body of StarStar. StarKit locked arund to see who els was in the clring. Then she saw RedPaw and lakePool sitting by the side sad'y with ther tals line.d.

**I don't get it, so Hollyleaf and Tigerstar/Tiggerstar are in Thunderclan? Why haven't they buried her body?**

"I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein plebian?" saud StarKit speking her firt sors.

**You can't stop love, bitch!**

"How would yoyu no" said LakePawl gettin defend. "Yur just a kit!"

"Your rigt" said StarKit "how do U no?"

"Your HolylEaf's kid right?" ekd RedPaw. "I think Book and StormFur also had a kit, I think his name is AshKit."

**Those two aren't even clan cats.**

"Yuou should go see him" said JayFethr. StarKit new ther was sumthing familr about him to but she could't remembr what!1!1!1

**Is it bad that I kind of like this Starkit now? **

"Yse I will thanz" relld. StarKit and she went bok to the nursry. She saw AshJit but she dint get to takl to him becuse then ther ewas a yell from abobe the camp. "HAHA LAQWL" yelld a locked up. On on sid she saw YellowFagn BrambleCawl, LeafPolo, Wiit Storm and BlueStra and on the other were HolyLeaf and TigerStar!

**Okay, so the first four are dead and so is Tigerstar. The fuck is going on?**

"Its a war betwen Starcaln and the Dark Forest!" said LinoBlaze and then... StarKit realeid... her mom and dad... wee EVUL!

**How you know that? You're just a kit.**

**I take back what I said. It's still the same Starkit.**

**When I'm feeling better, I'm going to draw fanart of this. *Is still sick***


	25. Round Four

Chapter 23 The

**Thw what?**  
The Starlan warriors stared attakihg the camp! And… at eh head of them…. WAS FIRESTAR!

**He died? I know he dies in canon but he just left in this abominaton.**

Yewls shotuted all around Starkit. She run arundo she didnt kno what to do!11! then a warrori ran up she clawed him. Blood porred down his sholder wher she clawed him. He yelled and run away.

**So a kit is able to beat a warrior? LOGIC DENIED**

I can fight! Thouht Stargleam! She jumped at cat who was rruning he felled abckwered he did. She was godo at thes!11! But how did she know how ti fight? It was a mistery.!

***face desk***

Then a warrier cam up to her! he was very big ans StarPaw was afraid. She didn't know if hse cold fight a cat liek him! He clawed her er there was red stuff cumming out of her era. "owch" said Starkits he was mad now!11! Anger borned in her chest. She runa at him she clawed him real hard he yowled in pan! Then she bit him on the throught more blood came out. He cocked then died.

**A kit can't kill a warrior. She has no strength at all. **

Nd then….. she looked up and there was Starclan warriers running into the camp! There was CorFeather nad his bother EggleWing (ididnt mack hem up oka!11! Craw Feather relly had a brother named EagelWiKit!1)

**Eaglekit died as a kit, he wouldn't be a warrior in Starclan, he would be a kit.**

and Bluestar and YellowFang and Spotedleve, BlackStar, WitStarm!

**Why can't you say Whitestorm right?**

She watched when the cats fouht!1 the Starclan cats drove back the Dark Forste ones. But there was nise from behind her. It wasl…... GITERSTAR!1!1!

**Glitterstar?**

"NOO" he said "I WONT LET YOU WIN" And he jupped at BlueStar!11!11! But she scrathed him!11!1 And he dide!11!1111!11!1!11!1!11!

**yay?**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1" SAID HOLYLEAF HER MOTHER.

**Because we so forgot they were family!**

GleamStar saw the sad in her eyes. She ran from carp!

**You're not clan leader anymore Starkit.**

"oh no StarKits hurt someone said. "Lets get her better. "There were allot of cats in the hurt but everone knew StarKit was spescal so they let her get treted forst.

**Yes, Starkit, you're _special. _Not in a good way.**

When sehe was better someone said "Oh no StarKits parents are gon. Someoen nedes 2 be her parents."

**Or the other queens in Thunderclan can take care of her.**

"Well do it." Said a cat Star looked aroud it was… REPDAW AND LAKEPOOOOOOL!

**Or we can do that.**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" siad StarKit!


	26. Asskit

**I just wanna go and say right now, that I fucking love your reviews. They are just so funny to read! Thank you for all reviews. We're almost done, only *counts* 13, more or less, chapters to go!**

Chaphtrt 22 LEBIANS 1 111

**And my good mood is gone.** StarKit dind know why eh was so upest, but she new that it was NOT A GOD THINGG for there to be LESBIA.

**We're all entitled to our own opinions. Just now, Starkit, that yours sucks.**

"Whats wrong StarGleam" asked RedPaw as she kised LakePaw ON THE LISP!

**Aren't they warriors now? They are cats, how do they kiss?**

**At least ScipioPB is getting her wish. **

"Your just a it why do you not like that ides

"Becuse being lesbna is WONG! StarKti yelled back. "Its against the BibTen Comandamnt."

**Technically no, because 'No Being Gay' was the eleventh, and since they are the TEN Commandments, the Eleventh should not count. Anyone agree with my logic?**

"How would you know of the ten commandnts " akxed LekePaw "you werf here for that."

"I know" said StarKkit thuning "but I somehow now aboot it."

**Way to be subtle. **

LakePaol shruged she didnt know how to responing. "Well the ten comadnt sarent' real" she said "so me and RedFur think its oka."

**And you should continue to think it's okay. YES! MY SHIP IS SAILING ONCE AGAIN!**

"Come backc to the nursey with us" saud RedPFur "your too youg to be out of the nurseyr for log."

**Yeah, she's only a few hours old. SHE SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN OPENED HER EYES YET!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111!1!" yelled SarPaw she refused to et herself be expod to the LESBITS!1!1!11!"

**Well, better Lesbian Cats than Lesbits Cats, right?**

Se ran out into the frost. AssKit

**Pfft! Asskit! It is official! Nothing will change that!**

folowed her. "Whats wrong StarStar" she asked

**Ashfur got reincarnated as a girl named Asskit? Sounds legit.**

"why are you so upset!"

"I'm beng rased by PLEBIANS!"

**"I'm being raised by commoners, Asskit! what do you think is wrong!?" Starkit mewed furiously. **

StarKite yeled back. "WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG/"

"well come over her" said AshFit "maybe we can make them see the ligt.

"giggle" siad SatrKit but whe went ofer to AshFur.

**Did you just say 'giggle' Starkit? Who just says giggle?! and it's Asskit! Not Ashfur!**

But then a cat was coing throug the tress! It was... JazzSong!

"JazzPaw what are you dong here!1!1"! asked Starkit.

**"I'm here to behead you Starkit, you should have stayed dead."**

"It's JazzStar dint you hear I got mad letter after StarGleam died."

**Jazzstar got one mad letter after her leader died. It was filled with all sorts of conspiracies and secrets that would make ones head explode. She lost a life as a result.**

"It was a sad deth."

"who is StarGlaem" asked StarGleam

**Stargleam was an idiot who was made leader because of pure Mary Sue-ness and was in truth a worthless piece of foxdung.**

she new the nam sounded family but she didnt know WHAT IT WAS.

"it doest mater" sud JazzSong lets go back to the camp."

**Jazzy is right, it doesn't matter who Stargleam is, she's no one important.**

"Yay" said AshFurtk happly. They went back to the damp.

"No go see RedPaw and lakePaw" said JaszStar "I now they'e wating for yo."

"finefine" saud StarKit but im not going to like it!

SIX MOONS LATER

**Oh! yay! I was worried they were going to make her a warrior when she was still just a kit!**

"StarKit from this day forwrd you will be NONE AS STARPAW!11!1"! sayd JazzSong. Then clan cheerid happily.

"Your mwneot will be" saiud JazzSeng.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!111!111!" YELLED STARFLEM!1!111!111

**Wait...what? I think you're missing a word or two! We don't even know who her mentor is and Starpaw/gleam/kit/bitch is already screaming 'No!' like she just got told Darth Vader was her father!**


	27. And Then They KISSED

**Hey guys, day three of being sick. I'm getting a little better (Have a fever but dads making me go to school) and I _might _have the flu. Joy. But if I was well enough to write chapters before I'm still well enough to write chapters now. So long as I don't have headaches or problems seeing I will write.**

Chapter 25 The Ask Qestion

**I think we all have a few questions we want to ask.**  
NO NOT HAWKFROST THOUGTH STARLGEAM. SHE DIDNT KNO WWHY BUT SHE DIDT WAT HIM TO BE HER MEMTOR.

**Why is Hawkfrost in Thunderclan still? **

"hi GleamKit" said HawkFrots walking over to here. He raped his tail aroond her sholders. "want to tran with me tommorwo?" "Okay," said Starkpaw.

She went to AsgKit.

**Is Asskit still a kit or an apprentice now?**

"Hi she said." "Hi." He said. "Hi." She rippled.

**How does one ripple?**

"do you want to fo huntibg with me desu ka?" he said. "Ok" sie said.

**Desu Ka? Translation please.**

I walked outof the forest wtih AshFir. WE wente into the froste to hunt. He keept loocking at StarGleam. She wandered y. Then he said: "StarPaw… I was wanted know….. if you… owuld be my Mat?"""""? he said.

**Oh, everyone still loves her.**

"ONGOSH YESSSASSSSS SAID STARPaw cause she didn"t nemember ho he shed remembered she wound have said YES.

**Is there a difference between 'ONGOSH YESSSASSSSS'? and 'YES'?**

And then… from the buddhes…. CAME hackforst.

"What are you inncolent fools doing?"

**I find it funny that Hawkfrost is saying 'insolent fools'.**

said HawkFrost. "Shes my mate now." Said AshPaw. "NO WAY?" said HaekFrost. "I want her to b my matt!" Ands then the FOUTH! There was lost of blod. Stargleam cryed! It weas so scaray! "sto" she said but even she coldnt make them lestin.

**Maybe they will kill each other and be out of this story?**

And thenm suddenly…. THEY WEREK ISSING!

**The sexual tension was too much for them.**

"NOOO WHAT ARE YOUS DOING?" SAID GLEAMSTARKIT. THEY WERE BING GAY! And she ran in the forest!1!2!

**You turned them gay, Starpaw/Gleamstarkit/Starstar/Stargleam/Gleamstar/Gleamgleam. You turned them gay.**

jeuss doesent lick people who flmale!

**I don't think he licks people, period.**


	28. All Arguments Against Her

Chapter 27 A NEW CALN?

**Oh Gods! A fanclan now too!?**  
StarKit ran and ran and run until she got back to the capm and then RedFur was ther waitng for her!11!

**Now Redfur, Finish her!**

"OMIGOSN NO!" reploned StarPa "I CAN;T TALK TO YOU RITE NOW" and she un into the appenticed den. "I CANT LET MUSELF BE SEEN WITH A LESBIAN!1!1!1"

**Way to be harsh, but everyone in the camp already knows your her adopted daughter.**

"Ad why not" aked RedPaw

**Who is never getting her warrior name apparently.**

marcing ofer to StarGkem "I men weave ben rassing you for mons now!"

**She's got a point.**

"I NO" fried StarGKit "But I just saw HawkForst and AshFuru...and they were... KISING!" She was repued as she said that she couldn;t stand the idaw of HAWKFROST KISTING A GUY!"

"Well thats erfecty fine isnt it?" asked LakwPool

**I agree with Lakepool**

coming into the den/ "I mean were gay and there snothing wrong with that!"

"YES THEIR IS"! yelld Starpaw in angry and she RAN FROM THE DEN AND BACK OUT INTO THE FROST

**So it's leaf-bare?**

BUT THEN SHE RAN INTO HAWKFORT AND ASHTKI AGAN!11111111!111!1111"

"YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!" she told them (a/n I NEEDED EXTRA EMPHAS BECUSE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO RITE IT!)

**Italics, bitch. *Puts sunglasses on***

but they DIDNT MOVES THEY JUST CONTINUED TO MACK OUR!

**Mack our? Da hell is that?**

"WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAF" she asked quitely "I MEAN YOUR NOT EXCEPT IN THIS CALN OF MINE!111!"

"IT'S NOT YOUR CALN!" HAWKFORST YELLED ITS EVERYBODYS CALN"

**He's got a point, Starkit, not your clan.**

"YEAH WELL YOUR GAY!11111!" SAID STARKIT.

"FINE" said Hawkforst and he Left With AshFur! "WE'LL GO BE ROGUES."

**Don't listen to her! Snap her neck! No one would care if she died!**

"GET OUT OF MY CALN"

So they lef. Then StarKit realized SHE HAD JUST BANISHED HER MENTO.

***Slow clap* Congratulations, you banished both your mates.**

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1111111!11

**Get over it.**


	29. She Rememebers!

Chapter 27 the Mameries

**You know, they never mentioned in the last chapter what the new clan was.**  
_**stpo flameing! whats rworng wth i dont you knowe a good stoary when uk see one? :(((**_

**Oh, I know good stories when I see them. They tend to not constantly change their main characters name.**

StarPaw wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y.

**Oh, when you said she wandered through madly, we just thought she had finally snapped.**

She lokked it was FlamaPelt! "FalmePelt help me she said yor a good steret cat what do you?' "lol i don know do wahat your heart says." She liked over to her mte NightRain. His blue eyes sparkeld shoningly into her wired eyes thier was one blue won green she was straet not like LakeP.

**You will not attack my ship!**

"But dos it really mater? i mean im by so it realy doesnot btw i heard there makicng Satinclan."

**I love satin! So smooth!**

"what noooOOOOOOOOOOO" siad STarKit and NightStorm at eh same time. "NO YOU CANT BE BY FLAMEPETLE NOOOOOO ITS AGANST THE COMONDMENTS" nightrain looked afast!

**No one cares.**

"so who cares! said FlamePaw definsively. "We." said NigthRAin and GleamPaw. "Why." she said. "because its bed." they said.

**Well, if it's ****_bed_****...**

"well watever Im going to g join SaitnClan cuase im evil now by" said FlamePelt and she was gone.

"?" said StarPaw beuatifully.  
**Way to be subtle, kid. Did you just say 'question mark'?**  
"I DONK NKOOOW" SAId RAINspolash. And he rain off.

**You voiced all our reactions, Rainspolash. (When did she get here? who is she?)**  
StawPaw was so sad that tears started to rall down her feca. Why nust her famly be so gya.

**Because you live.**

she wandred. She walked and went until her was at the clering. "This is were we meat."

**What? Are you a cannibal?**

she tough sadly thinking of HawkfRost.

And... then she looked at the tree!111!1!11! it was the same tree HawkGrost had hit put his into lookig for her!1!1!1! AND AL OF THE SUDDEN SHE REMEBERED!31!

**This is such a wonderful moment-wait, she didn't remember?**  
verythinga bout hawkfrost and FirwStar and all the oms who lobed her and the propecy and the forest!  
**Because out of Hawkfrost, Firestar, Graystripe, Ashfur, and Blackstar; only Firestar and Hawkfrost deserved mentioning. **  
"~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111" said TarGleam.

**How do you even say that?**

**Anyways, onto the romance shit, I learned something rather interesting. Remember how Ashfur was in love with Squirrelflight? Well, Ashfur is Sandstorms half-brother. Does that count as incest or?**


	30. SLASH

**Welcome to the Thirtieth chapter everyone! We're almost done! Yay! Then we'll move on to the sequel, if it's bad enough. Yes. There is a sequel. *Slow clap* Yay. Oh and the author of Starkit comes to an interesting revelation in this chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 28 Shrakking

**The hell is shrakking?**  
_okay guy I know its een a wile sinse my last chapta,_

**No one missed this.**

_ but no I have somethin to say on th subgect! a few weks ago, jazzy intoduce me to something calld SLASH. _

**Oh god.**

_At firt I didnt liek it so much but then since I new it exited and since i puberty _

**You finally hit pubertiy? So what...your 8-13? Makes sense.**

_I finaly admtted to myslef that I was...A LESBIAN!1!1!1111 _

**I am honestly not surprised. Does this mean your no longer a homophobic bitch?**

_I men i didnt want to admit it first but ten i realizd that its not god to hide my felings. I men I now i usd to be a homophone _

**Shit, you used to be a homophone? The hell is that even possible?**

_but evn thoh im not hapy about having to kno this i know its for the bet._

**I raise the bet $300.**

_ I was awy for soooo log becuase i had to realse tat and aslo i was potsging on the OFICAL FORM. but everone their is a stanist!1!1111!1!_

**Just cuz they don't like your story doesn't mean we all worship Satan. That would be the Cult of Tara Gilesbie followers.**

_ so i letf. and btw i cnat bleive those stupid at dleteed my sotyr!111! :((((( there so mean i mean wat did i do to derseve this?_

**Writing it in the first place?**

_ But anywa here is the chapte._

**No!**

Now that she remebred StarPaw ran ack to the camp with anew goll.

**A new ball? A new Gull? A new Roll?**

She wanted to tll evyrbody who she RELLY WAS.

**Like they'll believe her.**

Sh got bck ther and past RedPaw

**Seriously! When is she going to get her warrior name?!**

and lakePool on there way out.

"Wher are you gong?" StarPaw questin.

"Were going to Stainclan" repelled RedPaw.

**"Now that Stargleam is back, Thunderclan is leaving."**

"But why?" sekd StarPaw. "Bein gay isnt a sin anymro!" She whaled afte rhtem.

**Says who? If I remember, you said Starclan considers it a sin. What makes it not a sin anymore?**

**PLOT HOLE! PLOT HOLE! PLOT WHORE! PLOT HOLE! **

"it isn't said LakePaw but you said it was!"

"I kno" saed StarApw "But ive found out abut SLASH.

**Which shouldn't exist in this world because there isn't Fanfiction in this world.**

Infact I've relaed that I LOVE JAZZPA.E."

**Oh God *Face Desk X2***

"omg relly?" esked RedFur cause she culdtny belief it. "but were still gong to Stinclan, becase wer also ATHIET"."

**Athiet? Okay.**

"NO." StarPaw muttered. "you cant goo! Satinclan is not the place for you. I shuld proly go and call hawkFrost and AshFit back beause they can be ga nwo! Oh and FlamePelt can come back to.

**They left to get away from YOU.**

"We;l go tel them" saidRedufr and she left with LakePaw. The StaRgleam wen back to tamp and wen she got thair she jumped o the HighLedRock.

**I think the author is trying to merge the Forest and Lake. YOUR NOT LEADER ANYMORE STARGLEAM.**

"ATTENSION ALL CATA OF THUNDERCLAN  
SHE YELeld I HAVE AN ANOUCNEMTN.

The cats .

**You're missing a few words there pal.**

"What is it StarSpaw theu asked

"I HAVE A CONFESSN" SHE YELLD "I...AM...STARSTAR!11!11!111111111!"

**"HEARSAY! KILL THE LIAR!"**


	31. Claw Polish

Chapter 30 The Revvel!

**The Reveal? The Revival? The Review? The Revel? **  
_OMGOSH I CNAT BLEIFE THAT HIS HAS ONLY BEEN UP FOR A DAY AND YORU ALREDDY FMALING!1!11!1! :(_

**I can believe it.**

_ STOP! JUSES MIGHT LIKE GAT PPPL NOW BUT THAT DOENT MEAN EH LIKKS FLAMMERS_

**Wait, wait, wait. So you're saying that just because _you_ think you're gay, means that Jesus automatically loves gay people? I honestly never thought he hated them but wow, narcissist much?**

"Are you" said BrakenFur.

**"Are you really that dumb?" Brackenfur asked in disbelief.**

"WHY WONT QNYONE BELIVE ME" said starGleam and she ran uot of the cmap.

**Because you're barely an apprentice, no one liked Stargleam, and its hard to believe.**

angry!

**Oh no! She's angry! Quick! Hide!**

HOW cloud BrakinFor noy belivfe her after!11!11 And atfer averythign she done as a amaxing kit!

**You haven't realized? It was just a dream.**

She went to Satinclam and it wsa in a clerring just past the thunderclan boarder. She saw all the catd who were in Satnclan and there were….. CXLOUDTAIL AND MOUTHWING!11!1!11!1111

**NO! Leave those two alone!**

"LakePaw and RedFur dd you tell FlameOelt and NightRani that they couls come back now?" said Stargleam?

"no were all stlill athletes"

**They work out and participate in sports.**

StarGleam was bout to go home when realized soethinf. There cats were crepping towerd her!11!1!

**How do you 'realize' that? Did you not notice it or process that's what they were doing?**

"What are youo doing!1!" said she. SatinClaw wallked up to her now he was earing purple nail pollish and three was a blackk stirpe on his head. "

**A cat...wearing nail polish...pfft.**

We cnat' let you left Stargleam he said. you know to muchgt."

**What exactly does she know? Nothing, about anything. She doesn't even know that satin is a fabric.**

HOlyLeaf kumped out form the shadows and turhned into a BOBCAT!1!1!

Bubcat HullyLeaf ran at StarGleam! She hit StarGleam!1!1 Satinclaw came up 2 and hestared to claw her.

**Can I join in? *Holds up baseball bat***

But when thet clawed her stomich somtehgn inside of StarGleam hurted!1!1!1!11! IT WAS A KIT111! STARGLEAM COULD FELL HER KITS PAN!

**Wait...what?**

she was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, PREGGANT.

**When did that happen?**

"IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE !1!" SIAD STARGLEAM.

_AUTHROS NTOE OMG JAZZY POSTED THIS CHPTAE WITHOU T ME SAYIGN SHE OULCD. IM SORRY I DIDNT GET TO ETID TI MROE!_

**_You could still edit and replace the unedited chapter._**

_ I DIDNT KNOW JAZZ COULD USE MY COUTN_

**Time to change your password.**


	32. Jazzstar is Boss

Chatter 31 KITS

**As in more than one!**  
_t00000000t this chatper made jazsy really upstet _

**_THIS chapter made her upset?! What about the other thirty-one?!_**

_she shad she woudlnt deit the chapters anymroe i thinkc she odnest like ne enymore IM SORRY JAZZ I LUVE YOU_

**Jazz: I hate you!**

StarGleat ran bakc ro the thundercaln camp and she skided into the mediccne tats den.

**Seriously, will she ever explain why or how Jayfeather survived?**

"JAYFEATHRE SHE ELLED I THINK IM PREGNAT!1!1!"1!"

**Nice thing to tell your dad/former dad.**

"What makes yo say that" said JayFeather he came out of the medicine cats den.

" FELT MY KITS" SAID STARCLEM.

**I think your missing a word.**

"Ok lie down her" and so StarGkem ded and JayFetahr felt her stomah. "OH" she yelled as he pocked a kit.

"Those are diftently kits" he said

**Sure they're not rocks?**

"They look like theyr gong to be comign in a few dyas/"

**Fastest pregnancy ever!**

"OMG A FEW DAYS SAID STARGLEMA HOW DID SHE NOT NKNOW THIS,. SHE SAID.

**...Weren't you an apprentice a few days ago? Did you and Asskit mate in the nursery? *Shudders***

"If I can aks whose the father" said JayFetaer.

"Ummm" said StarGleam shitting her paws "how do I say this. It was...JazzSong."

***Does a spit take* Whoa, WHAT?!**

"WHAT" Jazzong said coming up to her. "HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK I;M A GIRL"

**THATS WHAT WE ARE ALL WONDERING!**

I knwo said StarGlaema but "I LOVE YOU."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!1111!111!11!1!1!1" said JazzStar.

**I officially like Jazzstar, she voiced our reactions so perfectly.**


	33. Everything Is Going to Be Terrible

Chapter 23 The Vist

**Dun...dun...duuun!**  
SatrPaw rnan away she aws tears weire sterawming down her nick. WHY WAS HERE LEAF SO BADD?1!1?111/?12 Everyone ated her1!

**Because your a Mary Sue.**

all ehr family nad frined were DEED!1!1 shed gone throu so much and now not even JAXPAW her BSET FIREND would hepl here!11?

**Don't forget that she is the unwilling father of your kits and Clan Leader.**

She flet her kits move in side her. she alreayd loved them s o much. But it was hard becuase she loved JazzStae! Her life was so TREIBL RITE NOW.

**You made everyone's lives terrible.**

Sudenly a starlcna cat came down from the sjy. It was….. SLIVERSTREAM!1

**"You tried to fuck with my mate, Graystripe. Prepare to die,"**

"dont worry GleamStap" said the silverstream! Itwall all be ok in the nd youll sef.

"i dnot know how it can be." she said. "it will." Epxlinad Silberstream.

**That was quite the explanation there Silverstream.**

"I HAVE KITS SILVERSDREAM! IKTS!11!1" SPARKLED STARGLEAM.

O know said StaSilverStream. "but ive ben in yoru place before iknown what it fells like,' she liked StarkIts fourhead. then she luf.

**May I remind you that you also died giving birth to your kits?**

StarTit snifed. She had 2 get better. For her KTIS. SHHE START wwalking awy into the forest.

_I DONT KNOW IF I BEABLE TO UDATE MCUH RIHTE NWO IM SO SADDDDDDDDDDDD T-_

**Why? Because Jazzy rejected you? Can't say I blame her.**


	34. Movies are Inside Her

Chpater 24 THE BARLE

**Wait, isn't this chapter 34?**  
StrGleam was dooo upset she was anrgy and confusd. Starcaln WHYYYYYYYYYY?11/1/1/11/1!1" She elld angrly.

**"You fucked up, Starpaw, and we're sick of you."**

"Syarcaln can;t hlep you know!" said an evli vocie. "Theres nothin gthey can do for you!"

**Evil Voice is right.**

"WHAT WHO SAID THAT" SHE ASEKD IN FAER.

It is I, HolyLeaf!" said the voice again.

**Her mother. But they already forgot that.**

Then HolyLefa bust out. The hole of ShadowCaln was with her and...THE DRARK FOFRST

**Why does she love making Shadowclan evil?! Shadowclan is good and cool! It just has a history of evil leaders!**

OH NOOOOOO YELLED STARGLEAME STARCALN HELP ME"

And then...the Warriorsof Starcaln came down the sky1 They joined StarGlaem and told her "We wil fihth with you StarPaw because you saved us ocne."

**When did she save them? If I remember she was getting saved most of the time.**

"Kawaii" said SrarGleam and they stared figthging the cats.

**How is 'Cute' an appropriate response!?**

StarStar ahd HolyLeaf pined down when suddenly... SHE FELT A MOVIE INSIDE HER!

**The Hell!? When did you eat a movie?!**

"MY KITS ARE COMIGN!1!1111!1!11!1" She owled.

**Movie = Kits. But way to let everyone know.**


	35. Odd Food Cravings, VERY odd cravings

Chapter Thirty Two The Berth

**No comment.**  
hokkyleaf RUNNING TOWERED HER. but a StarKlan cat named Bublesfor

**Bublesfor?The hell kind of name is that?**

jumped infront of her screamign NPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

**How do you say that?**

She jumped in ftorn of her scremaign

**Thank you for repeating that.**

and HolyLeaf hit him insted!1!1! He died.

StarGlean woudl have ben really upset but her kits were coming.

**Worst place to kit, Stargleam. Didn't Jayfeather say in a few days not a few minutes?**

She almost creamed

**Pfft.**

out in paun but she wais a string brave tac

**She was a string brave tac? Okay.**

and so she didnt. It hirt allot. Dhere was alot of piano in her stomich

**First a movie, and now a piano, the hell girl? Do you eat just anything you see?!**

AND SUDENLY TTHERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWERE111!1! SHE LOOKED DOWN AND THEIR was BRAKE in her stomchi.

**Okay, I know pregnant woman get cravings, but seriously?! A _brake_?**

Hillyleaf was finished with bubbleFur so she was cuming

**Hehehe**

tword her agein.

"NOOOOOOOOO STARGLEAM WHALED." But just as HOlyLeaf was about to hit her….. IT WAS BLUESTAR!

**And Holly is screwed.**

Starglem wtchad in ANGR as BlueStat nocked Hollyleaf over and she put her claws in her throt. She made HoluLeaf unconsece. But be4 HolyLeaf went blak she svratched BlueStar"s! There was red bloud comiming from her chest!111

"I love you JazzPaw I lways have." iad blueStar when she deid.

**So Bluestar loves Jazzpaw? What about the Commandments? _What about Oakheart?!_**

BLEUSTAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said GleamStare!

**Shouldn't you be jealous that she confessed her love to your forced mate?**

She was sad. And jhe hurt from her was going to be so HRAD!11! but looking at BleStars body filled her with GOPE.

**Ew. Gope?**

So she pushed.

AND THE KITS CAME OUT!111!1!

**I don't think they come out all at once.**

_You flameas shoudl stopa beig so mean!1111!11! :(((((((((( _

**We will never stop! If we do, I'll be out of a job.**

_dont you know how sda i am rite now? i am going throguhg a rly togh time and if i wasnt a christen I woud b so mad at you right now11111!1111!111!_

**I'm pretty sure us Christians are not unable to get angry. Hell, I'm Christian and I get pissed off.**


	36. Poor Unfortunate Kits

**There is only four more chapters, more or less, now. So I'll be posting them all together later today. Enjoy.**

Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes

**So, we skip over the battle or?**  
_OMGOHS IM SO SORRY I DIDNT UDPAT FFOR SO LOG! I ws really busy i was tryeing to write a sotry for nationle noelv writing . _

**How badly do you think she lost of failed?**

_i got to ten thosuend words!11! also Ii turned 21 on the elebenth! _

**Your turning _21_?! Your _20_?! The fuck?! _THE FUCK?!_**

**_Please_ let it be a typo, because if not, I have lost faith in humanity and have reached MC level of dislike for our species.**

_:DDDDDD but anywax here is the new chapter, I shokld be upateing like i use to nwo_

**Sadly.**

Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes

**Repeat is repeat.**

Ther weree threr kits their. One off them was relly flufry and goldcolred one was brignt ornge the secoudn was a tiger.

**...She gave birth...to a tiger?**

**LOGIC DOES NOT COMPUTE!**

Evn thou she was in AGONYYYYYYYYY StarGlem smeled as she liked her kitens."Wat are you gong to cal them" akes jzzSong

**Did you guys forget your in the middle of a BATTLE?!**

"ots not my chois remembre I men your the un wo had the kits!"

**Screw that! Take the kits and run! Before Stargleam manipulates them!**

"Hmmm" thaught aarGlema for a minuet beeofre she said "I thik the gold one will be DaFlufykit

**Daflufykit.**

and the onrge one wil be FireKit and the tiger stripped one wil be TugerKit.

**This cat sucks at naming cats.**

"GASP" GASPED THE ENTER CALN.

**"Gasp!" I gasped because you don't say 'gasp'**

"HOW CAN YOU NAME I TIGERKIT DONTYOU KNW WHAT HE DID" YELLED BAMBLECLAW. "HE NERLY KILED ME"

**THATS ALSO THE NAME OF YOUR [Brambleclaw] FATHER AND NEPHEW! Didn't Brambleclaw die offscreen?**

"Yes I no but haf ou forgoten that hes alsomy dad." aid satRhleam. "Besuids I like the name."

**Oh yeah...that makes her and Brambleclaw...siblings.**

"Oka I gues" and BabelClaw wakked away but he was rell pset. StarGlema wihsed he wasunt so sedative.

**I need a sedative. Brambleclaw get over here.**

"I lick the nams" said JazzStaorg and she licked StarHlema on the hed.

**Who the fuck is Starhlema?**

"There beatiful kids."

**Kids?**

"I no" giggled StarGlema aand we;; love thm for ever and evar." "

**Kits, _run now! _Before it's too late!**


	37. TIGEEERSTAR!

Chapter 34 TIGERSTARS ATTAK

**KICK THEIR ASS FOR ONCE TIGGERSTAR!**  
BUT THE BATLE WASNT OVERT YET!1!

**So, now they're at the battle again or did she just skip a chapter?**

All of a suddenly TIGEEERSTAR

**A different leader than Tigerstar and Tiggerstar.**

came runeing towrd her!11 "NOOOOO" he toweled. "I CN TELL THT TOGERKIT WILL BE GOOD! i dnt want a good kat named after me"" he said.

**What about Tigerheart? Your grandson?**

SO HE LUMPED FOR STARELGM!111

**He lumped?**

"NOOOOOO." seramed whitestrom he jumped in front of her. "you csnt hurt her can't you se she has kTITS?' "lol" lalueghed TigerStar, "I dont care Im evillll!" And he attacked FufflyKit!1!1

**I thought it was Dafluffykit. **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO" said GleamStar. She tried to get to Fluffykit bt she was to quick. TigrStar scrathecd hsi nose!1! But FlfuyKit was a god firghter like his mo. so he jumped at tigerStar1!1!

**A kit that was just born, hasn't opened its eye yet, is a natural fighter?**

**Blasphemy!**

and so did FireKit and Tigerkit!1 They were all balting together!1!1

""look at that its amazing." Said sumone. "There fighting tohether!" Al the clan watched in aww.  
**Why are you watching! Why not fight Tigeeerstar before he kills the kits!**  
"YOU MAY HVE DEFEETED ME THIS TIM STARKIT" SAID TIGERSTar "BUT YOULL NEVER DO IT AGIN!" he ran way with the DarkFrost. So did Holy;eaf.

StarGelam pursed her nose into Ja Star. they one! She was so hpary. But then… from the darkrsness… came... … … … SHKIT!

**Shkit? The hell?! **

**I'm so confused now...**


	38. Run Kits! Run!

**I'm going to tell you guys a secret. A goal of MC and mine with all these commentary stories. We plan on getting a TV Tropes page! I don't know why I'm blurting this out but I am! Smiles!**

**Anyways, this is the last _legit _chapter, after this is a special. A _special._**

Cahpert 34: Back Too the clan  
Cahpert 34 Back Too the clan

**Repeat is Repeat**

"AshTki what are you doint here?" asked GleameStar. She didnt se any reson for him to be their righte now btu he couldnt help but fel scarred.

**Stargleam is a he and is scarred.**

"Im tacking a ckt.' aid AshFur and he grabed TigerKit and wakeld away.

**Why does everyone want Tigerkit!**

"You rejicted me and so now Im gon aget my refveng on you by RAISNG YOUR KIT TO BE EVIL!1!1!111"

**She didn't reject you! She agreed to be your mate but then you made out with Hawkfrost five minutes later!**

"GASP NO" YELLED THE CALN THEY COUDNT NELEVE THAT ASHFUTE WOULD O SUCH A TING.

**His name IS Assfur. Kind of implies he's an ass.**

"Not if i can hlpe it" rored FlufKit and he flew towrd AshFur with is calws open. "YOUR NOT TALING MY BORTHER ALIV!"

**Your a kit. Your eyes shouldn't be open.**

**...**

**I'm done giving this thing logic.**

Al the cats in clan includng StarGlema and JazzFur watched in mazement as the little flufy kit began to attck AshFurt.

**Quit watching! Do something!**

"NOT MY BOTHER!" FLUFYKIT YELD AS HE ATCKED ASHFUR WITH HIS CLAWS MACKING THE CAT BLED. But evn thoguth he was hurt AshFru stil manged to drag TigerKit off even thoghu the tiget kkti was prosting. FlufyKir fel down and startd to crry.

**There, there. He's better off with Assfur then with Stargleam.**

"Its ok." said SarGlm and JazzSong as they came to confort the kit. "Im sure he will get back to us eventaly. I men hes your broterh and if hes anythng like you than he s a VRY GOD FIGHTER.

**...why are you not going after him? Seriously?! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?!**

Btu Fluffykit waled loudly anywya. His wali was so loud that it alsmto souded like a trmpet. It was sooooooo loudly that a bnuch of cats

**What...cats were having brunch of the brunch was of cats?**

ran to see waht was goin on.

And amon them...was FIRESTRA!1!1!1111!11

**Firestar! Take hold of your clan again! Its falling into madness with Stargleam there!**


	39. End Is Now

**It's the last chapter! Yay! *Runs around like crazy***

***Takes a deep breath* I want to thank everyone for the reviews and follows. It was annoying to do this story but you guys made it worth it. Had I not had loyal readers like you, I probably would have stopped this at Chapter Ten after reaching my limit of insanity. It was fun to read your reviews and some of the jokes you made in them.**

VRY IMPOTENT MASSAGE

**Very impotent massage guys! Her massages do not do anything!**

_Hey guisssss!1!11! It's ofcialy 12;03 aM on Decmbr 24 CHRISTMS were I life, and I thougt that since its everone's FAVORITE holyday_

**Who doesn't love Christmas?**

_ I would write a Chritmas specil! Some ppl sad i shold._

**Oh God, no!**

_But b4 that I hav a __differnt__ veirson of eht somng rudof the RedNosed Raindeer! :DDDD Its called… STAREGLAEM THE PRUPEL CAT!1111!_

**NOOOOO!**

StarGlema the puprle cat  
Was a vrey purpel cat

**Redundancy the redundant**

**was a very redundant redundancy**  
And if you evre saw hre.  
You wold evne say shes fat.

**That we can agree on.**

Al of the othre cats  
used to laguth and call her ames.

**If only. If only.**  
they nevre let por StarGealm  
join in ne kity games

then one ofgy Gatherng  
BlueStar came to say  
SarGlema with our fur so bright  
won't you led the gathering tonigt?

**"Lol just joking."**

Then al the kites loved her  
as they shoted out with gle  
StarGlema the purlep cat  
youll go don in histroy!

**Sadly, you will. As the worse cat imaginable.**

_Ok now hers the speciail._

SpottedLeaf cam dwn from the sky to appar to Jay Feather on a dream. She told him that "DawnSparkle will have a kit, and her name must be StarGleam."

**Not very detailed, is it?**

JayFather asked how this wad suppoded to happn, since she hadn't done u-kno-wat with DawnSparkle at that pont.

**You're not supposed to have sex with her in the first place. Your a Medicine Cat. A _Medicine Cat!_**

YellowFanng repld. "Trust in GoStarvlan and they wont led you wong."

**Oh, Gostarvlan! what have you misled us!**

So then DawnDparkle and JayFeather went arund fir a while and then the baby started to come!1!11 So the went to an inn but the inkerpr wouldnt let them stay thr.

**I know where this is going. Oh God...**

So they went to a barn instead and all the other aminals gathered ronnd to see the birth.

AND THEN STARKIT WAS BORN!1!1111111!1!11!1!11!11!1 Then ther e was a relly brigt star a bove them, and then LionHeart, BleuStar and YelloFang

"Wat are you doin her?" asked DawnSparkle and then they said "Were heremto see baby JdSusKit.

**Jdsuskit is in another barn. Get lost.**

"Ok come see hier then" said DawnSparkle and ten they all came over to her. The also gave her gold, frankenstein and mir.

"This is our savor." said Bluesatr. "We know it. We sae t in the stars. Starkit will ne JESUSS!1!1!1!11

**Noooo! Slendy! What have I done for you to forsake us like this! To make STARKIT Jesus?! WHY!**

Hark the herald angels sing  
"Glory to the newborn King!  
Peace on earth and mercy mild  
God and sinners reconciled"  
Joyful, all ye nations rise  
Join the triumph of the skies  
With the angelic host proclaim:  
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"  
Hark! The herald angels sing  
"Glory to the newborn King!"

_(i copied the lyrics since i didnt know the song)_

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

**Wait...wait! Wait! Wait! *Examines the lines* No...no misspelt words...just a punctuation and capitalization error...but everything is spelt right. Even the last line...**

**HOLY SHIT! She broke character!**

* * *

**Well, that is the last chapter of Starkits Prophecy. I was going to review the unfinished sequel, but I haven't been able to find it. Thankfully, Starkit is dead in it. Unfortunately, she seems to still be a main character in Starclan.**

**It was co-written by XDarkrosesX and her boyfriend Thomas, who proves that she is not a lesbian. So her whole speech back in chapter thirty, about how discovering slash made her realize she was a lesbian is probably a lie. **

**Well, this is goodbye. If you wish to see more reviews by the Midnight Crew (MC and myself) check out the others on our profile. If you have a story you want one of us to review, tell us.**

**Now, I'm leaving. I got a bat with the name of a certain rainbow eyed purple cat on it that's itching for blood.**


	40. Blood equals Dove

**NOOOO! I found more chapters for Starkits Prophecy! It's not over yet! Quick Ru-**

CHAPTER 40 TIGERKIT

**Don't interrupt me yo-**

ONG IM SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR BENG GON SO LONG!11! :( scholo was rly hard sinc I goat back they gave us alot of homowork

**That's school for you.**

and i was haveing torlble with som of my friends bcaus I am a lesbain now nd they dont unferstand.

**Sort of like you?**

U cant b3elieve u flamers are still faleming!1 WHY ARE YOU SUCK MEAN PEPPLE Y CANT YOU ACPECT ME FOR WHO I AM!11!1!

**We don't _care _that you're gay! We care about this story being shit!**

im not sory I colled you statinst you ARE othersiwe you woul be nice!11!1!

**Your logic is so full of holes that it can't hold my beer.**

Bbut neway im back and heres the chatper I woked realy hard on it this time!1!

**Get your weapons people *Pulls out the baseball bat***

FIRESTARE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE asked starlgema. "I thogut u were the letter of ShaodWclan now?"

**I thought he went rogue to escape this madness?**

"Tes i was but I relied I stil lube you GlamePool he said

**"Sorry Firestar, I'm gay now."**

. "I herd you and togerStar fihgtnng an so i cam to hlep," "Wel youre too latr." Said HleamStar. "Tiggestar took TigerSatr!11111

**Tiggerstar kidnapped Tigerstar!**

'I cna hellp" he said Firstar. "RAELY" aiad STarGleam. "Realy I kno were his hdeout wis" "Omgosh really said Stargleam

**"Not really..."**

"Yes wen i wnte a way I was ledder of shadowlnca so i was ebbil for awhiel nd I ws with TigerTsar. so i know wre he lives.'

**He's _dead_ he lives in the Dark Forest. The Place of No Stars.**

"LESTS GO THEN!1" YOWLED STARLGMEAN RUNING TOWRD TIGESRTARS.

**Why does she need his hideout if he's still in sight?**

Tjey ran for a log tiem but GleamPaw was so andrenline

**Back away guys! She's adrenaline! She's chemical!**

she didn't care. But lots of the other cats were tired by thetim they got ther. Tigerstars hidoat was a hloe near the lake.

**"None shall enter my hole! mwahahaha!"**

"okay ready TACK!1111"

**You're not on a boat, Stargleam.**

MEOWELD STARELGME ND THE CATS RUN INT O THE HEOLE.

***facepalm* You never run into a hole blindly.**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" SAID TIGERSTAR WHEN HE SAW THEM he was rly boldy bcase tigerkit hd been fighting him.

**How is a kit kicking his ass?! Come on Tigerstar!**

Hw was too tired Starlgema roped her claws down his nicke her esyes robbling!11

**What are her eyes stealing?**

She was so beutufl in btale thought. Hr bleu fur shone in the moanlight!1

**How narcissistic can she get?**

her eyes burned with NGR. She was one of the barviest cats the hades ever seen.

**So, Hades had never seen a cat like her? He's never saw pure idiocy?**

GleamStar clawd TigeerStare vicuously!1111111! Blood went everwhare!1!1 It flu

**So it's a disease?**

through the are licke a dove!111

**Nice to know his blood is pretty. I love doves.**

Tigerstar ran away in pain!111 "You bet me but ist stoo late !1" he laguged. Then he left.

"What did he mean bu that" StarPaw ondered. Then she locked at tigerPaw. "ARe you okya" se haid.

**When did a one day old kit become an apprenti-wait, *Remembers what this story is* never mind.**

"OF xourse Im okay IM EVIL NOW!1!1111!" he siad.

**What...did one of Sara's 'gay liberals' rape him? Because according to that story, that's how people turn evil.**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" WALLED STARLGME.

**OH leave the wall alone!**

DNOT FLAME ME THIS DIME! ! I MEAN IT!111!

**Who needs flames, when you got a baseball bat? After this I'm going to use this on her.**


	41. Face-Heel Turn

Chapter 42 STARGLEMA'S NEW THOUGHT

**OR in other words: Stargleams First Thought**

Hi guyss I'm bakke.! For a wile I was realy depresed because i found a lot of fanfics on this site which i THINK THEIR MOCKING MY STORY.

**If they're commentaries or parodies then probably.**

I men realy theres a strouy about a at named LovelyyKit and one about SparkekIt what is that about?/?/

**They might be parodies, they might be just other badfics. This story though is 120% mocking yours.**

I theink tehyre moking me! If ur readingt rhis and and you wrote one of those bad storiess?,..

**Yours is a bad story.**

i think youre stories arr TROLFIC.S

**Pot. Kettle. Black. Baseball bat.**

But neway here is the chapater.

"What will you do no?" TigerPaaw akesed StarKgle.

**Tigerpaw who grew up to be apprentice age in just a few minutes. You can grow up fast too! Just be kidnapped by a psychotic, power hungry, dead cat named Tigerstar.**

"One of ur belved kits is now aliened with the evil cats!1"

**They are better off that way.**

"You cant do taht!" FluffyKit yeld. "Dont you no how much our mom put into havng us ARE YOU REALLY SO DISGRATEFULL!"

**Is that supposed to be Disgraceful and ungrateful? Both fit.**

"Do uyo think I car TugerStar is beter than all fo you dumb boldens."

**Yes you boldens! Tugerstar is best! Better than Tigerstar, Tiggerstar, and Tigeeerstar!**

"That'ss wy I'mg oing to go live with hm and Ill mary his daughter...RainStar!"

**...Damn Tigerstar...how many kids you got? Brambleclaw, Tawnypelt, Mothwing, Hawkfrost, Reincarnated Stargleam, and now a kit is going to 'marry' his aunt? **

StarGlema gapes. "your ripping me apart tugerkit"

**Now that we have it down emotionally, rip her apart physically.**

But she coulent do anyhing because then TugerKir tran off afert TigerStar.

**_Tigerkit! _Be free!**

JazzSogn came up and burshed againt Gleamest. "What are you going to do love" she aksed quitely.

**"I'm going to either do something rational and not stupid, or I'm going to jump off a cliff. Which is a better idea?"**

GealemKit hised. "Im going after them." she growle.d "TigerKit is my son nad I lvoe him. I have to go with him im soawy."

JazSong was sad but she new it was fro the bests. "Go then StarGlapw." she said "Ill wait for you 4eva."

**Why not go with her? You know, to help?**

tarGelam noded and ran of after them. When she got teher she found TigerKit makng out wth a brown cat and she gesed it was RainStar.

**Rainstar I guess is a leader? What is he/she leader of?**

"What are you dong makign out with this kath!" she yeled abgry.

"Moter wat are you dong ehre!" TigerKit shouted. "Why did you felaow me " GleamstRa sid. "because i wouldn't let my kit go of alone wen i wasnt wit him."

**You _are _a kit still.**

"awwwwwww said rainStar sardically

**Sardically. Enough said.**

but "that's swet but your not one of us wo we have to kile you. UNLEAS THE MONGOSE!1"

**Go! Kill them my sweet mongoose! Kill them all! (What's a mongoose doing up there?)**

Tehn sudenly, mongosee!1 It was really HOLYLEAF.

**"It's a part-time job. You have no idea how many people will hire a dangerous animal to unleash upon their enemies."**

StarGleam doged to one side. "Nowait! she eleyd" "I want to talk about this! I wnat to be on of you guys with TigerKit!"

"Nice try Gleam but we can se RIGHT TROUGH YOUR LISE SAID RAINSTAR NOW KILL THE INFIELD!" THEN THE MONGOSO ATAKCED!

**Kill her, Hollyleaf! Avenge yourself and your brothers!**

BUT SUDDENLY BTFORIT COULD RATH HER THERE WAS JAZSONG AND FLUFLYKIT AND EVERYOEN1

**_Why _is there a kit!?**

They all rard at the mongose the Holyleaf! It rant away; and StarGkeam was happy. But RainStra hised. "We cant turst you oif your friends keep coming to safeve you!" she tud.

**She's got a point.**

"Now leve befor we cal in FeatherPaw.

"FeatherPaw?" gapes FalifuKit. "He is my boyferiend!"

**...Remember readers, these kits were born about...a day ago.**

Your boyfiend" RainStar snorkled "but Im stright."

**So?**

"So" said Flufykit "pont be such a hobophobe"

**Rainstar has hatred towards hobos.**

"iI;m not but in straight." said rainstar.

"But thats not athe point came a voice and it was...tigertsar!

**He's right, its not the point. And now we know Rainstar is a girl.**

"StarGlema what are you doing here" asked iegrStar "do you want to die"

"No" said StarGlamr I want to join your group because...I'M EVIL!11!1!1!1!

**Holy shit! Face-Heel turn alert!**

"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" SAID JAZZOSONG.

**Jazzsong/star, teach me how to say that.**


	42. Battle Resumed

**Oh my Starclan! We might beak 100 reviews!**

CHAPTER 43 THE PALN FOR THE BATTLE

WHAT NO STARGLEMA said JazzXong her blue eyes weid with sad. 'You cant do thsi you're my matte1!"

**She can and she did.**

"i have too" satrGlamestar said angishly. "its my destinty I no that now/"

**It changed from defeating Tigerstar to saving him? **

"This is awsom mom!11" said Tigerkit "now were on thes ame side!"

"I dont know " said RainStar said. "r we sure shes not a spy?"

**Good question.**

"Dont worry Lakepool said she'd joind Satinclan to. "It's all for the brest."

***Does something incredibly stupid* It's for the breasts!**

"NOOOOOOOOOO" Fuggly kit

**Hey, Fuglykit is an accurate name.**

yowlud he waws really upse t cause he lovved his mom but now she was EVILL!11He ran away into the forste.

**How many times do I have to say that your better off without her?**

Starkit almost yollwed NO WAIT FUFFLYSTAR but then she rembred she was evil now so shee just locked awy. Insid she flet sad was she relay suposed to fullfil the propesy when she was fighting for the Sark Forest!? Mab shed been the wong vat all along.

**You're always wrong.**

She wlaked away in2 the forest with TigerKat, Rainstar. Nd LakePopl. Hoq could sStarclan have berayed her? it mad her so FURICOUS1!

_**How **_**did Starclan betray you?**

By the time they got to TiherStar she was reddy tofight agiants them!111!1111!11!

"Okay Dar Frost cats emuncated TigerGleam standing on the stump, GlameStar looked around and saw there were lots of cts had acred arund the smtp.

**What?**

"Tomorrow were gingo to atakk…. THNUDERCLAN!111!"

Allf the scat SCRAMED in aporval. Starlgame did to but insid she was CTYING. Oh no she thohtgh wat will i do? Ive git friendd in thunderclan!

**I would hope you had friends in your clan.**

But she had 2 do it for TigerLit he loked so hpapay here happer than hed ever ben in the forstet!

**He's only a few days old.**

"And…. STARGLEMA WILL SHOW US THE WAYA!111!11!111" said TigerStar. "shell be th first there so he can show ho lyal she is too the AArkforest."

**"Because we're loyal to the Aarkforset! Not the Dark Forest or the Sark Forest!"**

NOOOOOOO tought GleamStar. But she siad "ok TogerStar I will''

THE BAFFLE FOR THE FORST HAD BEGAN!11

**I think this entire battle has been going on for a while, just been taking breaks.**


	43. Water Tribe

Chapter 44 A SUPRIRSE

**Another surprise?**

StarGleam ran throug the forest as her paws skimed the ground liek she was flyying. Al of the cats of TigerStar's gong ran behin her.

**How many gongs does Tigerstar have?**

"Faster GleaStar!" Tigerstra hissed. "We need to get there befor the sun goes down."

"Why" asked Glamestar. She was confused why would tey need to go so fats! "Because well have to spend the nite if we dont. saud TigerStar "and we wouldt want that to hapen?

**Why not attack during the night? It's the best ambush time.**

StarJelam nofded. She ran fatser. Tehn...THEY WERE AT THE TUNDERLAN CAMP!

"NOOO!" YELLED JAZSONG SWHO WAS GARDING THE ENTRANSE. "QUICK EVEROEN GET OUT HER AND HELP ME FITE!"

**You sure they'll help you? They did nothing when kits were fighting cats.**

All of Thundercaln came out for the batle 1 there was JazzSong and RedPelt and LinoBlaz and JayFether and DawnSparkle and GrayStrip and everyone!

**Because Dustpelt, Sorreltail, Brightheart, Sandstorm, Birchfall, Berrynose, Toadstep, Blossomfall, Briarlight, Spiderleg, Foxleap, Rosepetal and all the other warriors that I can't remember off the top of my head don't mater enough to be named.**

Byt Stainclan was bigger they had TigerStar and RainStar and FeatherPaw and LakePool and TigerKit and mos important G;EAMSTAR!

**That's not bigger, it's the same amount of cat's listed. **

And so they atacked the camp! It was a realy long bat;e but StarPaw was'nt getting hurt because she was STARGLEAM. But sudenly...

**No, I think you're getting her and Lionblaze mixed up.**

THE TRIBE OF WATER!11111!1!

**What's the Tribe of Rushing Water doing there? Seems pretty weird that they would leave their mountain for a battle they had no way of knowing about.**

"Oh1 She who runs with leaves!" RainStar and LakePolo gasped. Tehy both recognized the shecat at the head of the group she was one of there friends.

**Just...no comment apart from the shitty name.**

"Help us figth!" they beged her.

AND SO THE ENTIRE TRIBE JOINED THE BATTLE!

**No explanation of how they know a tribe cat? Why the tribe is there? No? Nothing?**


	44. Leveling up

Chatper 45 THE DEATH nd berayal!

**Oh no!**

starGleam fought bsied She who reuns with leaves.

**Still a shitty name.**

theyre were out#ing the Thunderclan cats. StarGleam clawd a cat and blood sarfed the air she said "Take that ThdnerClan traiters!"

**...Aren't _you _the traitor? **

but inide she was thinking I cunt do this!111!1!

**Hey! Language! Do _not _use the C word! There could be kids reading this!**

And then... FIERSTARE WAS BEING ATTACKED BY TIERGERSTAR!1!

**You couldn't kill him before, Firestar, you still won't be able to kill him.**

"NOOOOOOO NOT FIRESTAR" thought GleamStar. She watned to help her leider But TigerKot was on her sid and she had to fight for him.

**So...you abandoned two of your kits for one of them? I guess majority doesn't rule.**

But then someone was savving Firestar! It was... davFUFFLYTIK!

**Go Dafluffykit!**

ILL HELP HYOU HE SAID SHOUTING IN FRONT OF TIGGERSTARS CLAWS

"no FlfuKit don't your too young"

_**Finally **_**someone notes that they are _kits_!**

sia d FreStar but it was too kate. Fluffykit ook the bolw for him and he was blood!1]

**Oh no! DaFluffykit is blood! He is blood, not a cat!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" siad StarGleam she coudlnt take it anynmorew! she lumped at GietrStar

**Who is he?**

and knocked him off her kit she started to lick FluffKit but TigerKut attaked him then he turned he said "Mom yur evil remember?"

**"Tigerkit, I can't let my other son, your _brother_ die! You fucking idiot!"**

but tears were running down her checks and she said no "Tigerkit I'm not! You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly. And i alwyas thought the tiger was TiggerStar but now I now... IT WAS YOU!11!1111 its a elf fulfing propecy!"

**So, an elf fulfills the prophecy.**

"what." said TigerKit hi shocked. "No thit cant be right! I now I'm supossed to be vil and so are you!" but SternGleam wasn't littening. She was locking at Fluffkyt who was bleeding.

**"Mom...leave...you just bring me bad luck."**

"Plese don't die FluffyKitd," she sobed. Her tears were make rainbows.

**MARY SUE ALERT!**

Fluffkits fluffly golden fur sparkled in the sunlight when he said "I have tos tarGleam its my detsinty." He closed his esy and stoped bretheing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !" said StarGleam she was haretbroken!1! shed never been so sad before in hir life!

**I can note a few times you mentioned in previous chapters that you were.**

But then... someoen said "HAHAHAHA" she heard and she looked around it was... HOLYLEAF! shed killed TIGERSTAR! 'You gav me a disraction. Now I can rule the forest fo rmyself!" she said evilly.

**I honestly am not upset that she killed Tigerstar, only the reason for why.**

"TigerKit will help me!" TigerKet went to stand beside her.

GleamPaw was about to say NIIIIIIIII BUT THEN she got ANGNRY. "No" she said" Your NOT going to rule the forst" and then... HER KAWAII ORANGE WYWS STARTED TO GLOW!11111

**I thought her eyes were a molting orange and a rainbow color?**

STARKITS PROPHCY WAS ABOUT TO COME TRUE!\

**Get ready guys, this Mary Sue is about to level up.**

omgosh sory I tok so long to get these chatper s oot. schyul got crazy and i had some turble with Jazzykun but guess what WE'RE FRIENDS AGIN!12111 its awesome shes accepted that i lovo her and shes ok with it now. but neway were geting really close to the end! ts gonna get RELLY good!1111!

to he flarmes, STU! O jedeus talt people to be nice and whyarent youd oing that? you need to learn it it will help you out allot! But to all the niece ppl who review my sotry bless you 7 thank you i aperciate it allot, withotu you i night notve writen this story tat all! n_^


	45. Dramatic Way Out

THE FINAL CHAPTER 46

"This is wat you get for mesing with ME!" StarGkeam slowed, her orange eyes glwoign so bright that they coudl be sene from the mono.

**Exaggerating, massive exaggeration.**

"I'M SICK OF AL YOU INFIDS" she crocuhed down and barred her fangs.

**We're sick of you!**

"Oh no!" Jazzsong sqeald. "Shes about to atack! Everyone get ouf of the way!"

**It's not like she's the hulk or anything.**

Al of the god cats ran away and hid undee a reee as the ground staered to shake. Then sudeny, the enter forest was evelpd in a brialt gorange glow and the screms of many evli cats could be hard.

"ACCEPT JESUS MOTHERFUCKERS!" StarGleam screched.

**...Okay you got to admit, that line was awesome. **

When te glo went away there were no mor evil cats. TigerKit and HolylEaf and TigerSar wer al gon, that they had disapeard. The Other cats in Satincaln, like RainHeart

**You mean Rainstar?**

and LakePol, now had no ledder to fallow now that there leaderd were ded so they were god again.

**They are God?**

"The prophcy of StarKit has com true," saud JazzPaw as she came out from under the tre. "StarGleam you are our svor."

**I think a more accurate description is she's your psychotic Mary-Sue.**

"Not for log" said Gleamesta and she fel on the ground, brething hard. "That was realy hurt it tok a lot of enrgy I do'nt think I can fight anymore." She closd her eys as JazSogn wailted in horor.

**Are you dying?**

"No." JazzSong wispered in dismal, racing up to the dieing shecat. "No, no no no! Please GleamStra! Plase be okay!11" there came no reponse.. Ever one stodo and gased on at the sene before them. "StarGlema! Wake up! Please! Tears began to wail up behidn her eyes like a dam rady to brake." "S-stargleam…...No…"

**Stargleam yes!**

JazzSong bured her noes into StarGleams wam fur. "We've gone to far!" we've been throught too much tofethee for it all to end here now! GleameStar… I LOVE YOU!" LakePool and RedDSpalsh exchaned a lesban glance,

**Explain how a lesbian glance is different than a regular glance.**

than began to quitly pad toards ther ding savoir. "DON'T TOUCH HER" JazStar spat, tares fowing like watrfalss down her checks. Then more quetlyly, she whipered, "Don't...…

***Backs away slowly* Okay.**

GlameaStra's signed whisker twihed ever so sightly. "Jazzsong...…" She breahed. "Closer…..." Jazzpwa kelt closer to her, her wihskers barley bruhsing StarPaw's cheks. "I…...I wish I cold stya…. And I wold if I could…. But… She pased", violinly caughing some of the smoky out of her lungs her body shuttered. "I…...JazzSong…...I CAN SE THEM!

**She's hallucinating everyone.**

"Who? JazzSign walied, tears roloing. Who can you see?"

StarGlem closed her eys and smeled weekly. "All of them...…even FluffyIt, JazzSongo! StarClan is bekning me…"

"No, GleamTra, no! Plese! Say it isn't so!11!"

**Sol: Don't bring me into this!**

befor the she cat coudl repond, she was beten by anothet strom of violint coufghing. StarGlema udered a unarticle mew, shakking uncotrolablly, and finaly colasped to the ground, clenhed paw sloowly unfoding like the leg of a ded spidder.

**I don't think that a paw can clench.**

StarGlem's once brigt eyes no loger held there shiner as they started off into the disnatce. A momment pased, and her eyes slowly cosed.

The clan stod in silents, quiely morning their tragik lose. JazzSogon wailed and buried her fac into GleamStars fur. She sobbed uncorrolably, her tail ficking back and forth in a vilent moton. "GleamStar! GlemaStar! Please! Come bac! No! StarGleam…...starGleam….

The moionliss cat inhailed. Her voice bairly audoble. "It is so…...I'm sory… I love you too, JazzSong. Never forgp that."

"StarPaw…..."

I may be gon…. but I stile life on…"

"How, GleamPaw?" Jazzsong stifled. "Where?"

"In…...your heart…." Stargleam singed.

"My…...hert?"

"in the herts of you, and everone in the clan…...Your lovving mamories will kep me aliv in your sols and I will also live on…." Stargleam toke one last dyigng breathe, raking her hole body with the eforrt. "…in Jesu Crist!

**Oh, I think you have it backwards. You don't live in him, he lives in you.**

The cat once again grew stil, and a gim silenche sept over."

"….StarGleam…."

FireStar was the firts to spek. "Every one! Look at Stargleam! She's…...GROWING!"

**Shit! She's growing?**

nd inded she was. JazzPaw gapsed, leping back from the lumisect corse. GlameStar's body ros into the air, small ligts apprearing arund her liek lighting bug. They swilled around her, puling her father into the sky. Lights began to shrine through StarKit's fur. The clan watches in aw as their savor slowy began to dispear into millons upon millionss of the lights. They swrled in the air abovve, slowly astending into Starcaln. The last few flits of sparke twined out of sight… and GleamStra was no mor.

**You just had to take the dramatic way out...other than the spelling errors I can't say anything about it.**

"Well." Muttured RedPaw. "I gess thats that than."

**WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET YOU WARRIOR NAME?!**

"Must be." said her lesbian parter LakePaw. "But what wer thos lights?"

**Just the Mary-Sue police taking her away.**

JazzStra stood and meowed, "The souls of all Starclan and Tunderclan…."

"And Jessus" Redpaw said thoghtful.

"Yeah." JazzPaw said, miling warmily. "and Ejsus."

**JesusEjusJegus. Enough said.**


	46. And Everyone Lived Happily Ever After

**Well, this is the official last chapter, not a repeat of chapter 39. This is the legit last chapter. So, I want to thank you all. *Repeats speech from chapter 39* Now, onto the epilogue.**

EPILOUGE

Hai guys! :D I guess were at the end of the sstroy. It makes me kinda hapy and kindof sad at the smaet time.

**We all have mixed feelings over this, for different reasons.**

but i had lots of gun riting

**Your guns had to go through certain rites.**

it 9eventho some saytanists FLAMED me glares0 But anyway I wanted to rexomend listening to Rome and juilet

**Their story was horrible, I mean it was a good story but who wants that kind of romance? They killed each other over puppy love.**

overture by chekhovsky when yu read his chapter. ~

I know I aredy said this allot but I cant say it enogu, thanks you so much 2 everyone who liked this trory!11! =3333

***Repeats what she said to my own readers***

u were what mad it wot it even with the flames, even when it got deleted even when Jzzy didnt like me and i got relly dpressed. So may StarClan light your path! :D! I LOVE YOU! ( jsus does too!)

RedFur and LakePol walked out of the nruseusy their kits walkgint behind. "Hello" siad HawkFrost from the Hirghock, he was depudy now that GleamStar was dead

**Wait...did Gleamstar become deputy without us knowing? I know Jazzstar was leader...**

dna JazzSong was the lder. Him and JazzStar wre mates now nd she was prengint,

**Both Stargleams mates hooked up. Cool. But Jazzstar was already leader, since Stargleam only got one life after being leader and died and was reincarnated.**

FlamePelt was leader while she was gone.

**It doesn't work that way. If she was pregnant, then Hawkfrost would be in charge while she couldn't, that's why he's DEPUTY.**

"hi Hawkfrost siad Lakepolo and REdfur happly, they were friends now.

RedFur loocked around her. there were cats were rebulidng Thonderclan piece by peace she could see JayFether dragging in some sticks,

**Jayfeather: More sticks to be my mates!**

he looked happy she thought. he hadn't looked this happy since StarGlema was life. She was glad. Also she saw Firestar and GaryStripe building up the apprentices den and SandStorm helping them, NightRain was helping with the miedince den.

ReFur

**SHES FINALLY A WARRIOR! YES!**

and LakePal smiled at heach other happily. Life would never be th se ame without StarLeam but it could be better agin.

**Starlearn is more important than Stargleam.**

"Hey mama" said one of their kits it was BlueKit in honour of BlueStar. "Whose STaraGlame."

**"A Terrible Mary Sue that took over our clan and destroyed our lives."**

"WHAT said LakePOol afast, dont you know at alll?" 'Don't be so hred on them LakePool," said ReddFur "their jus its."

**"Be patient, they'll learn to fear the name soon."**

"Well alrite" said LakePpl, "listen close." Allt he kits came closer, especially StarLit.

**Please don't be another reincarnation!**

RedFur wandered if she culd no about who she rlly was.

''You see once there was this xat who was born with a porpecy about her….." RedFur lsitedn as her mare

**Wait, so she's a horse now?**

told the kits all about there ant. as she was listening she looked up ath he sky wherethe sun smiled down at her. then she realized….. it really was smiling!1111

**When did this become Soul Eater?**

StarGleamStar was looking down at them all from Above.

**Stargleam has the sun hostage!**

"LakePool look" she gasped and LakePool did look so did the kits. The StarGleam slimed even widder and winked a shining eye. Then she was gone.

**I would find that creepy.**

"look at that," siad LakePool smiling the kites asked what was going on but she just said, "she relaly is watching after all." RedFur and LakePools eyes met and therei tails twinned, and they jissed.

All was well in Thunderclan.

**Now that Stargleam is dead.**

…

Soul looked on from abve the canp. He was bemeaing gayfully. everything had goen like hed wanted it to.

**Okay, I guess Soul Eater did come here, we got an albino boy who turns into a scythe in their midst.**

He locked up at the sky were he knew GleamStar was watching & the rest of Sratsclan. His work was done. Everythang was going to be

**What did he do?**

CREDITS

MUSIC CHEKOVSKY

STORY XDARKROSESX

WARIROS ERIN HONTER

EDIT 4 A COPPLE OF CHATPERS JAZZSONG

WARRIORS CARACTURES ERIN HUNTER

ORIGINAL CHARACTURS XDARROSESX

EVERYTHING ELSE YOU!

THANK YOU FOR READDING!

**And its done! it's officially done!**

**Well, now that I have this done. I know which story I'm doing next, Hidden Prophecies, another Warriors story.**

**Thank you for reading and sticking through this with me. **


End file.
